Last night was a chill and stormy night here. As I was sitting alone in front of my fireplace, perusing John Donne's 'The Flea, I suddenly became aware of a low droning sound. Grabbing my rain coat, my phone and a torch I went outside to investigate. What did I find, but a large spherical silver disk hovering ten metres above my house. As I was standing there in the rain, a small circle opened in the disk and brilliant light enveloped me. There was a bright flash and the next moment I realised I was laying on my back in what could only be described as some kind of alien space craft. The aliens came forward. I tried to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen to me. The next moment they began to do naughty things to me.

Why did this happen?