"Whenever I see an island untouched by war, a place of innocence, a place of lush forests and clear rivers...I just wanna Buggy Ball the crap out of it!"
TPC (Town Power Corporation) Reporter Jewelry Bonney blinked. Having asked the Captain in front of her what it felt like to be on Cinco, an island that the Marines were currently trying to protect, the last response she'd expected was an apparent desire to reduce it to a bombed wasteland. And while FireFist Ace would no doubt cast the statement as reinforcement of proposed scorched earth policies, chances were TPC editor in chief would remove the line altogether.
Right. Doesn't stop me from worrying though...
Tapping her camera lens in a vague attempt to ensure it was functional, Bonney knew that worry was something she'd dealt with over the last ten days by her own choice. Worry that Nami was indeed the norm of the Marine Corps and that other islands would suffer the same fate as Cinco. Worry that the powers that be would pick up on her actual lack of loyalty to the Town, even while playing the role of Town patsy. And right now, having been assigned to interview a crazed clown on the latest island under attack by the Pirates, worry that her interviewee would unsheathe knives and she'd have her heart stabbed.
That the Clown was less than sane didn't really provide comfort.
"
Um...I see," said the reporter awkwardly, brushing back same of her hair and wishing she'd remembered to pack her usual beret. "
I'm sure the citizens of The World Government will be happy to know that our finest are willing to seize victory no matter the cost."
"
Seize victory?" the Captain rasped, tilting his head to one side. "
That's not my job. All I do is guide down the thunder...and then deal with it."
Bonney supposed that guiding down the thunder was a reference to signaling a target for a Buggy Ball strike, and that "dealing with it" was some kind of layman's attempt at "reaping the whirlwind." Supposedly the island's academic intellectual status wasn't as high as the
First Mate claimed it to be.
Bonney adjusted the angle of her camera. She wasn't a cameraman, but she'd rather not run the risk of losing another friend at the cost of some great shots, any day. Besides, clad head to toe in a makeup and a striped jumpsuit, the Clown wasn't exactly the most photogenic individual in The Grand Line.
"
So...tell me, what are your pastimes?" Bonney asked, remembering FireFist Ace's request to explore the possibility of putting a human face on the elusive citizens. "
I mean, you're obviously dedicated to the defence of humanity and all but-..."
"
Horseshoes."
Bonney blinked...twice. "
I beg your pardon?"
"
Horseshoes," the Captain repeated. "
It's a good game."
"
I see..."
"
Yeah...just like in artillery strikes, being close counts..."
Bonney knew she was no expert in military matters, but even so, she had to wonder what the point was of having clowns if all they seemed to do was guide down tactical Buggy Ball strikes. Oh sure, she'd heard some remarkable/horrifying tales of what Buggy could do, tales that she herself had helped exaggerate, but even so...
"
So...horseshoes..." the reporter said uneasily. "
You play by yourself?"
"
Solo operative," grunted the Captain. "
Just like you, right?"
"
What?"
"
No cameraman, no tech crew, it's just yourself. We're very much alike Ms. Bonney."
"
...don't say that. Ever."
That, Bonney knew, wasn't the most diplomatic thing she could have said and given how the clown's sheathed sword suddenly seemed more obvious than it had once been, possibly not the safest either. Then again, there was only so much observation she could take when she wasn't the one doing the observing, especially when the clown had a point. Because while horseshoes wasn't her favourite sport in the world and she had no desire to unleash the power of the cannonball on invading Pirates, she too, was a loner. And surrounded by marines and their commanders, at least half of whom were rebels, it sickened her to know that the clown might be the only one who understood.
Course he'd probably kill me if he knew the full story...
"
I see that we're running out of time," Jewelry lied, looking at her timepiece to reinforce her phony point. "
So just one more question."
"
Fire away."
Repressing a shudder at the analogy, the reporter pressed on. "
All the commanders I've talked to indicate that Cinco could go either way. As someone who goes into the field deeper than most others, I have to ask, what's your assessment of the situation."
The Captain remained silent, putting his chin on his palm in what Bonney supposed was deep thought. Either that or her was performing some kind of devil-fruit technique. Or maybe...just maybe...
Maybe this is it...Bonney thought to herself.
Maybe I'll get an insightful answer. Maybe I'll get something that reveals the nature of the Cipher Police. Maybe I'll even get-...
"
All I can say are that the projections point to bomby weather with a chance of mushroom clouds."
Damn it!