Help Necroplant bake a pie!

[Necroplant]

Alright here's what's going to happen. This is sometimes a common team challenge on Hell's Kitchen: you have to pick an ingredient and post it in your thread, and after 25 entries I will create a proportional recipe to make into a pie.

It can be anything, though. Here we go:

Cheese.

[Roflcopter]

Kiviaq

[Ash]

Kiviaq

I hope Necro mails it to your house...

A bucketful of cow dung.

[Mugy]

anti-freeze

[Apocist]

Turnip

[Necroplant]

Shortening.

[Bunny]

Eye of newt

[Gzz]

Flour
Eggs
A bunch of middle fingers

[Brendan]

Eye of newt

Bunny

[Admiral]

A Casio watch

[Gingerape]

Jesus.

[creedkingsx]

vodka.

[Necroplant]

Butter.

9 MORE TO GO!

[Chane]

your mom.

[Admiral]

A Sega Game Gear.

[Nick]

Apples and oranges.

[Ash]

Semen

[RLVG]

If you're going to bake a pie, do NOT forget cocoa powder.

[Chane]

Semen

+1

[Ash]

+1

Necroplant's mother's vagina juice.

[RLVG]

Let's add Neighbour's Roses. The neighbour won't miss them.

[Admiral]

An iPad

[Ash]

An iPad

necroplant is too poor

[Spy]

Carrots

[RLVG]

Bacon.
What's without?

[Ash]

List:

1. Kiviaq
2. Bucketful of cow dung
3. Anti-freeze
4. Turnip
5. Shortening [What's shortening?]
6. Eye of newt
7. Flour, Eggs, a lot of middle fingers
8. Bunny
9. A Casio watch
10. Jesus
11. Vodka
12. Butter
13. Necroplant's mother
14. Sega game gear
15. Apples and Oranges
16. Semen
17. Cocoa powder
18.Necroplant's mom's vagina juice
19. Neighbor's roses
20. An iPad
21. Carrots
22. Bacon

[Necroplant]

Sorry Ash, first of all I'm not putting my mom into the pie, and that include mom biproducts. But don't worry, you combined a couple of times as a single number, so we really need...

TWO MOAR!!!

[Ash]

Sorry Ash, first of all I'm not putting my mom into the pie, and that include mom biproducts. But don't worry, you combined a couple of times as a single number, so we really need...

TWO MOAR!!!

Two? Don't you mean 3? And without your mom then shouldn't it be 4? Learn to count.

That list I compiled was put together with everyone else's request. I wasn't the one who said to put your mom. I said your mom's vagina juice

[oops_ur_dead]

A cup of.. teh jizz

[RLVG]

(ALOT of) Chili.

[oops_ur_dead]

(ALOT of) Chili.

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca...verything.html

[RLVG]

https://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca...verything.html

Wow, that's deep.
I've been wrong all along.

[Necroplant]

I'll complete the VERY LAST INGREDIENT: Whipped cream.

Okay I've got all ingredients. The next challenge in Hell's Kitchen is to figure out what to do with the ingredients list. I'll make you guys proud!

[Necroplant]

Necroplant Pie Recipe

Ingredients:

-Two large carrots
-One whole orange
-One apple
-1/2 cup of cheese
-One kiviaq, all feathers removed
-One turnip
-One baby bunny, skinned, deboned and organs removed
-One can of Diet Coke
-One tablespoon antifreeze
-Cocoa powder for garnish
-One cup of shortening
-Three eggs
-2 cups flour
-One tablespoon of cow dung
-5 stolen neighbour's roses
-10 strips of bacon
-one iPad
-one Sega Game Gear
-One tablespoon of fresh semen
-30 newt eyes
-Middle fingers of convicted felons, 15x white 35x black
-One cheap Casio watch
-One cup of wine and 5 wafer biscuits (body/blood of Christ)
-Two shots of vodka

1) Mix eggs, flour and shortening together to make the pie crust. Mold into pie tray, and freeze overnight to harden. Remove after at least 12 hours.
2) Using a food processor, blend together carrots, orange and apple, kiviaq, cow dung, bunny meat, semen, antifreeze, Diet Coke, turnip, and one of three eggs for 2 minutes or until evenly blended and a slurry. Dump into a large mixing bowl.
3) Using a hammer, break into pieces the iPad, Casio Watch and Sega Game Gear. When the pieces can fit, clean out food processor and blend until pieces are small enough to pass through the esophagus. Combine this into mixing bowl and blend using a spatula.
4) Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit, and remove pie crust from freezer.
5) Grate cheese and put it in small bowl for later.
6) Using a cutting knife, chop rose petals stolen from neighbour's yard until it can be sprinkled.
7) Using a mortar and pestle, mash together wafer biscuits and cup of wine. Throw into the large mixing bowl.
Add shot of vodka.
9) Ladle ingredients into pie crust, spreading evenly. Sprinkle with cocoa powder.
10) Evenly distribute 30 newt eyes on top of crust. Put 50 middle fingers around the circumference of the pie for ornamental appearance.
11) Drizzle one tablespoon of antifreeze onto surface of pie to help enhance the tough skin it'll form.
12) Evenly place strips of bacon on the top of the pie. Throw pie in oven and time for 30-40 minutes or until golden brown on top.
13) Remove pie, turn off oven, and allow to cool for 10 minutes before serving. The plastic should be evenly melted with the organic ingredients, increasing its edibility.

VOILA!!!

Attachment 7360

[creedkingsx]

That looks so healthy

[Jim]

I think a glass of bleach would go great with this pie.

[oops_ur_dead]

I like how adding a shot of vodka is step

[oops_ur_dead]

Also Necroplant if you actually make this pie I will personally drive over to your house and eat a slice of it. I live like 10 minutes away from you so I'd legitimately be able to do it.

[Mugy]

Also Necroplant if you actually make this pie I will personally drive over to your house and eat a slice of it. I live like 10 minutes away from you so I'd legitimately be able to do it.

Be sure to have paramedics on standby, anti-freeze can cause kidney failure. The iPad doesn't seem good for you either.

[Necroplant]

The food processor attempts to blend all ingredients, and the melting action blends the plastic with organic ingredients. But imagine the plastic going through your intestines and out your ass? Also, cutting off fingers isn't illegal as long as it's voluntary, and I don't know 50 people crazy enough to do this for me. One tablespoon of antifreeze won't kill you. That's why I put a tablespoon of antifreeze only, and not an entire pint lol. It still qualifies as an ingredient, I just altered the amount required.

Obviously the measurement of semen is one fapping session's worth.

[Necroplant]

https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/4682508.stm

This was published awhile ago, in response to the KFC "Double-Down" which was regarded as the most unhealthy food item in the world.

This is a Snickers PIE. Now the chef himself warns that "You're not supposed to eat large amounts of it, just slivers at a time. I didn't put this out there so you can kill yourself on it."

[Mugy]

The food processor attempts to blend all ingredients, and the melting action blends the plastic with organic ingredients. But imagine the plastic going through your intestines and out your ass? Also, cutting off fingers isn't illegal as long as it's voluntary, and I don't know 50 people crazy enough to do this for me. One tablespoon of antifreeze won't kill you. That's why I put a tablespoon of antifreeze only, and not an entire pint lol. It still qualifies as an ingredient, I just altered the amount required.

Obviously the measurement of semen is one fapping session's worth.

[Brendan]

If not for the inedible ingredients (anti freeze, ipad, etc. the fingers are just for aesthetics) I would try this pie.

[Brendan]

https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk/4682508.stm

This was published awhile ago, in response to the KFC "Double-Down" which was regarded as the most unhealthy food item in the world.

This is a Snickers PIE. Now the chef himself warns that "You're not supposed to eat large amounts of it, just slivers at a time. I didn't put this out there so you can kill yourself on it."

This pie would definitely tickle your taste buds...

[Ash]

VOILA!!!

Attachment 7360

y u no ipad

[oops_ur_dead]

k omit the fingers then and make it.

[Brendan]

Spoiler : Reddit Kid :

can we put him in our pie? He keeps showing me reddit threads and talking about how great it is. A whole new level of socially awkward and I want to kill him.

[Necroplant]

Who here reads the "A Song of Ice and Fire" book series, aka Game of Thrones?

There's theories that Lord Wyman Manderly, who wanted to get revenge against the Freys for murdering his son, had two Frey household members ambushed on the road to Winterfell, and baked them into a pie that he served at the wedding of Ramsay Bolton and Jeyne Poole.

Also in the 90's movie "Titus", starring Anthony Hopkins who plays Titus Andronicus (A Shakespeare production), he has the two men who raped his daughter kidnapped and murdered, and baked into a delicious meat pie. Then after their mother has savoured it, he screams "THERE THEY ARE, BAKED INTO THAT PIE!!!" and starts dancing LOL!

[Brendan]

Who here reads the "A Song of Ice and Fire" book series, aka Game of Thrones?

There's theories that Lord Wyman Manderly, who wanted to get revenge against the Freys for murdering his son, had two Frey household members ambushed on the road to Winterfell, and baked them into a pie that he served at the wedding of Ramsay Bolton and Jeyne Poole.

Also in the 90's movie "Titus", starring Anthony Hopkins who plays Titus Andronicus (A Shakespeare production), he has the two men who raped his daughter kidnapped and murdered, and baked into a delicious meat pie. Then after their mother has savoured it, he screams "THERE THEY ARE, BAKED INTO THAT PIE!!!" and starts dancing LOL!

Just finished A dance with dragons. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun is best character.

[Necroplant]

Just finished A dance with dragons. Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun is best character.

"KNEEL QUEEN, LITTLE QUEEN."

It was funny the rivalry between Wun Wun and Ser Patrek. He was the only knight brave enough to challenge his booming laughter, but it resulted in him being torn limb-by-limb in the end.

What about the huge monster turtle Tyrion encounters while travelling with Griff? It's described as being able to shake the boat by merely rising out of the water, and its roar was louder than any warhorn Tyrion ever heard.