Im so fucking angry right now. Im so fed up with going to funerals. Im totally at a loss for how to keep my friends alive. I recognize ways to help my friends but I find myself so lacking to manifest my will. Im not ok watching my brothers reach out to a system that functions on the necessity that the least capable advocate for themselves. Im not ok seeing my friends totally broken as human beings holding themselves together on the premis of spending time with their children and being denied that. Its not cool that I live in a soicety which perpetuates the concept of freedom while rejecting it in action. For everything I am I cant understand how a man can break himself for his country and find himself prevented from seeing his children. When everyone that touches the situation says its fucked and the situation prevails we have to recognize as a society that something is very wrong.
Were canabolising our childrens future in the name of capitalism for a corproocrisy we never wanted under the guise of a diffrent name. I recognize that I have failed this community in a few aspects but I can accept that more than I can accept my failure as a human being to protect the people I really care about. I have a very real lack of self respect as an American and I hate how much I cant fight for this thing I thought I gave everything for. I honestly dont think its ok that im having regular conversations with friends about how they feel their families would be better off with the insurance money from their deaths. I fucking hate that I feel like veterans have to compromise their integrity just to get help. This is a really silly place for me to vent but it is what it is.