Why was the picture sent to prison? It was framed.
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for the paramedics to give him a blood transfusion.
As he was dying he kept insisting "be positive", but it's hard without him.
A man is washing the car with his son. The son asks...... "Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?"
Geology rocks, but Geography is where it's at!
Why was the big cat disqualified from the race? Because it was a cheetah.
Why is there always a gate around cemeteries? Because people are always dying to get in.
I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
When will the little snake arrive? I don't know but he won't be long...
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he.
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
Why did the opera singer go sailing? They wanted to hit the high Cs.