Something Personal
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  1. #1

    Something Personal

    I was kinda a messed up kid growing up. My parents sent me to a boarding school that was eventually shut down for child abuse. To this day I am ashamed that I did not work harder to shut it down. There was very literal and basic torture. I kinda think how fucked off the psychology of that places actions were framed my curiosity.

    Had this whole thing I wrote up but it made me a bit sick. They tortured us. Very literally they crammed their fingers into our nerves until we screamed. And after we screamed they kept right on until we promised to push whatever they wanted. No amount of doing what they wanted would make it stop.

    Now I want to have a conversation with people who were tortured next to me but are now the authority in that power structure. I kinda think I only have one shot at this and I dont know what would be the best approach. I could use some advice
    What does not kill you makes you feel stupid when you wish it would have
    It only makes you stronger if you choose to not be a victim

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  5. #5

    Re: Something Personal

    This is why I shouldn't drunk post >.<. But now that I have opened this can of worms here..
    Quote Originally Posted by OzyWho View Post
    Examples and reasons for torture would be appreciated, as well as a source that confirms the shut down.

    The lack of the above makes me question it.
    Just google Mountain Park Baptist Boarding Academy and you will find plenty of it. There are also quite a few associated court cases in Florida (A place called palm Lane) and Missouri. That and I am sure there is public record and one incident of kids murdering another kid while trying to escape / take over; as well as the investigation that shut the place down after 3 students escaped so they could contact CPS. They had a clever system of having kids police and be in charge of etch other which created its own series of issues. Skuff up someone's shoes too many times and you might get taken to 'the back stacks', an area where wood was stored for a little fist fight. I still dont take any issue with that though. Boys will be boys and all that.

    If they felt a kid was not submitting to their authority they would pin them on the ground and do pressure points for hours. Usually 2 or 3 people holding the kid down. Some of us ended up with permeant nerve damage from that. For a specific example there was a guy named Jinkens that simply refused to do school work (it was a PACE system.) Bo and another guy walked up, took the time to take off their tie's, watches, ect and then tackled him to the ground. A few hours later when they were done with him he had a circle of carpet burn all around his face because he was pinned on his stomach and as he twisted in agony his face would rub on the carpet. It didn't matter what he said or how much he cried out, they just kept it up to make it unthinkable to ever disobey them again.

    Well I found Bo. I guess I want closure but I have no idea how to handle initiating that conversation in a way that keeps him willing to have it. I just want to understand why.

    I guess now you all understand my slight obsession with religion and distain for some aspects of it.
    Last edited by Helz; January 12th, 2021 at 02:13 PM.
    What does not kill you makes you feel stupid when you wish it would have
    It only makes you stronger if you choose to not be a victim

  6. #6

  7. #7

    Re: Something Personal

    Quote Originally Posted by oops_ur_dead View Post
    That sounds really heavy man, sorry to hear it happened.

    To clarify, was Bo one of the counsellors/adults/whatever, or another kid who was complicit with all of this?
    He was the son of the guy running the place and effectively #2 in charge at that location. I am still not sure how the power structure functioned between his dad (Sam) and the guy that ran the Flordia location. He was the one most directly involved with discipline for the boys side. There were many more girls than boys but I am not sure if they got similar treatment as that they were kept separate from us and we were pretty much not allowed to speak to or look at them.
    What does not kill you makes you feel stupid when you wish it would have
    It only makes you stronger if you choose to not be a victim

  8. #8

    Re: Something Personal

    The only input I can give is that you shouldn't go into this expecting closure. I've known people that have been in similar situations (in the sense that they had been abused/tormented by someone, not the boarding school thing), and when they confronted their abusers they got sappy apologies that didn't sound sincere and excuses/lies, likely to cover their ass legally more than anything. The same type of psychopathology and personality that leads to someone doing shit like that in the first place also brings people to lie about it.

    I would just open the conversation and make sure it's known you won't pursue any sort of vengeance or legal action or anything. Just don't expect anything heartfelt and honest, that way you won't be disappointed, and if you do get the closure you want then it's something at least.

    Also question if closure is something that you really do want, since it won't change the past, and might not even change how you feel about the whole thing.

  9. #9

    Re: Something Personal

    What... This is... horrible? The word seems appropriate. I'm sincerely sorry for you, and sorry to see such a thing happened. I'm not gonna pretend I have any knowledge on the matter, so I'll leave it at what Oops said.
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  10. #10

    Re: Something Personal

    Quote Originally Posted by Helz View Post
    If they felt a kid was not submitting to their authority they would pin them on the ground and do pressure points for hours. Usually 2 or 3 people holding the kid down. Some of us ended up with permeant nerve damage from that. For a specific example there was a guy named Jinkens that simply refused to do school work (it was a PACE system.) Bo and another guy walked up, took the time to take off their tie's, watches, ect and then tackled him to the ground. A few hours later when they were done with him he had a circle of carpet burn all around his face because he was pinned on his stomach and as he twisted in agony his face would rub on the carpet. It didn't matter what he said or how much he cried out, they just kept it up to make it unthinkable to ever disobey them again.
    Yay for malignant narcissism! I guess such a place is perfect for someone like that. Only place that I can think of even potentially worse would be an orphanage.

    2 questions:
    1. What does Bo stand for? Couldn't find on my own.
    2. Do you think those other kids - they were such already before they came there, or is it more the case of like (sorry I lack a better example) "everyone would be a Nazi in WW2 Germany". Clearly a unclear thing what I'm asking but I'm lacking knowledge/understanding for better.

    Quote Originally Posted by Helz View Post
    Well I found Bo. I guess I want closure but I have no idea how to handle initiating that conversation in a way that keeps him willing to have it. I just want to understand why.
    Wish I knew, I wish I knew.
    I can't imagine for someone with your experience to get into a conversation with this "Bo" and control yourself. I know I couldn't.

  11. #11

    Re: Something Personal

    Quote Originally Posted by OzyWho View Post
    Yay for malignant narcissism! I guess such a place is perfect for someone like that. Only place that I can think of even potentially worse would be an orphanage.

    2 questions:
    1. What does Bo stand for? Couldn't find on my own.
    2. Do you think those other kids - they were such already before they came there, or is it more the case of like (sorry I lack a better example) "everyone would be a Nazi in WW2 Germany". Clearly a unclear thing what I'm asking but I'm lacking knowledge/understanding for better.


    Wish I knew, I wish I knew.
    I can't imagine for someone with your experience to get into a conversation with this "Bo" and control yourself. I know I couldn't.
    Bo is the guys name. Pronounced like Bow.
    I am not quite sure what you are asking. Most of them were pretty bad kids as well, or had some religious extremist parents. Some of them are still into that stuff. They had a process where students could become staff. There is also that natural 'pecking order' humans have regardless of how much we like to tell ourselves we are so superior to animals.

    I don't really hate the guy. I actually feel like I owe a lot to that place. I just think a lot about what the staff there thought about what they were doing. I wonder what kind of mental gymnastics they went though to justify their behavior or if they knew what they were doing was wrong but they did not care. Or maybe they still feel like what they did was right but society is wrong. They did rail on silly things like it being a sin to wear clothing that shows your knees and how its wrong for religion to become more progressive as society does.

    I think there is a part of me thats just petty about it. I want to challenge their belief systems with their own logic. Some things have always bothered me about all religions like how people preach about money and possessions not mattering yet they always seem to find clever ways to translate 'give to god' into 'give to me'. Its probably why I go out of my way to fuck with religious zealots contrived belief systems in general now that I think about it. A part of me giggles on the inside when I challenge someone's religious belief using their own religion; especially given I have found very few people ever bother to study ontological concepts.
    What does not kill you makes you feel stupid when you wish it would have
    It only makes you stronger if you choose to not be a victim

  12. #12

    Re: Something Personal

    Quote Originally Posted by oops_ur_dead View Post
    The only input I can give is that you shouldn't go into this expecting closure. I've known people that have been in similar situations (in the sense that they had been abused/tormented by someone, not the boarding school thing), and when they confronted their abusers they got sappy apologies that didn't sound sincere and excuses/lies, likely to cover their ass legally more than anything. The same type of psychopathology and personality that leads to someone doing shit like that in the first place also brings people to lie about it.

    I would just open the conversation and make sure it's known you won't pursue any sort of vengeance or legal action or anything. Just don't expect anything heartfelt and honest, that way you won't be disappointed, and if you do get the closure you want then it's something at least.

    Also question if closure is something that you really do want, since it won't change the past, and might not even change how you feel about the whole thing.
    Thank you for the advice. You have given me some things to think about.
    What does not kill you makes you feel stupid when you wish it would have
    It only makes you stronger if you choose to not be a victim

 

 

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