Since I left very abruptly and I'm getting a lot of people asking me how I am doing right now I figured I'll post about it here. I'm locking this because I don't want some specific people to comment on it. I'm not looking for advice or sympathy right now. I don't need it.

This outbreak is going on during my senior year of high school so I'm essentially missing all the interesting things that seniors were supposed to get, I.E. prom, graduation, maybe some other stuff, i dunno. I'm mostly just glad that it's over because my public district is absolutely ass. If any of you ever have kids in the US please private school them or look for a district with a low school count. My school district has 11 high schools which need to be fully employed, so there are lots of teachers who do not have the ability to teach effectively or who could not find work in another district. Lots of my teachers went from assigning very little classwork to assigning a lot of homework because now they can no longer fly under the radar by doing 30 minute lesson plans in a 90 minute class period. This is not an exaggeration, two of my gen-ed teachers are using 30 minute lesson plans for their 90 minute period. Now they have to have a genuine lesson plan for the quarantine assigned and we, as the students, don't have the proper education to get the work done that we are expected to get done. As a result, school is kicking my ass right now and any free time I have has been going to playing with my friends to keep myself sane. This was reason #1 for me canceling the SFM. I did not have the time nor the stamina to host the most complex setup on the website admist this actual hell.

The kicker for me was when my girlfriend texted me asking if I was really still interested in her because she didn't know anymore. We barely had been talking. This set off a lot of thoughts- we're both moving in 3 months for uni so long distance relationships are going to be very similar to this. We called and talked things over and we both cried. But we both concluded that something had to change. I don't want to let her go without giving her the best that I can offer. She deserves more than what I had been giving her during this quarantine. It's someone I could genuinely see myself spending the rest of my life with. I've been making an effort to try to call her at least once a day, and text back and forth with her throughout the day. Things are looking up now. So that was reason #2. I had been neglecting my real life relationships. It was entirely my fault, and if you are reading this not sure why it's my fault, understand that I am still processing things. There have been a lot of things that I could do better here and I'm still in that little limbo phase where I'm fully aware that I fucked up, and how I fucked up, and why I fucked up, but I don't understand how I could've stopped it, even though I'm 100% sure there is a way to stop it from happening again.

Thank you for all the kind thoughts. ??krc will come back once the school year ends because I really want to run it. Once my schedule opens up and my relationships settle again, I'll come back.