last post win

[Frog]

Clocking in. Post post

[Frog]

OBLIGATORY BORING INTRODUCTION
*sniffles* ... ... *sniffles* ... allergies suck. What causes allergies? What are the effects of allergies? Why can't I be around cats?

[Frog]

FIZZLE FAZZLE PUDDING POP STORY FEATURING BILL COSBY
You see children, pudding pop, allergies exist deep within you, not unlike a tampon or a very used dildo. In fact, allergies are actually in your blood, not unlike the drugs coursing through your veins THIS VERY MOMENT EVERYONE KNOWS!!!!

When you come in contact with an external allergic stimuli, your blood volatility will react in such a way that may produce an array of reactions. The bulk of reactions involve inflammation of certain areas which may cause problems breathing, rashes, sneezing, joint pain, vomiting, headaches, the whole pudding pop.

This last weekend I went to a friend's house to watch the western conference finals (The Spurs blew the Thunder out of the water btw, it wasn't even a game worth watching.) I found myself suffocating and sneezing like a maniac after I started petting Captain Starbuck, the cat, the nemesis. Well Captain Starbuck caught on, and then he jumped on me and wouldn't get off. A narrow brush with the grim reaper for sure.

Antihistamines help alleviate such allergic reactions, but continual usage of antihistamines will eventually cause irregular blood pressure, and in old age problems with blood clots (see death). So what is the long term solution of allergies?

How do we eradicate allergies once and for all?

There is a solution, although it's very scientific I will try to write as succinctly as possible, pudding pop.

Kill All Cats.

[Frog]

F.Y.I. - there are 20 posts per page. We need to make it to page 250 or 500 depending on the true post count.

[Cryptonic]

watta nub using 20 post pages

[Frog]

Crypt's Useful Advice on Increasing Posts Per Page:

Cannot be found

[Cryptonic]

when did I ever say I was gonna offer advice x.x

[Frog]

Measly reps for advice

[Frog]

Mic Check One Two One Two
Two Chicks At Once Is What I Wanna Do
Word.

[Bruno]

Mic Check One Two One Two
Two Chicks At Once Is What I Wanna Do
Word.

U mean big bad billionaire dubai fuck boi can't fuck 2 bad bitches at the same damn time? Sad

[ika]

post

[Frog]

U mean big bad billionaire dubai fuck boi can't fuck 2 bad bitches at the same damn time? Sad

It's sort of like a warm apple pie. You just can't eat it once and be done with it.

[Elixir]

[Frog]

^ Your avatar is dancing with your gif

[Impactor Logia]

Is this the line for the intergalactic giant robot smackdown?

[AppleyNO]

>.>

[Elixir]

Sitting in a waiting room and saw a car wreck a bird out the window.

RIP bird

[ika]

Sitting in a waiting room and saw a car wreck a bird out the window.

RIP bird

shit got real

[Bruno]

It's sort of like a warm apple pie. You just can't eat it once and be done with it.

uh huh

r u prince abeeboo?

[AppleyNO]

Russians are always princes.

And frog is not Russian.

[Bruno]

Russians are always princes.

And frog is not Russian.

no his dad is an oil baron

[AppleyNO]

no his dad is an oil baron

Not King@

[deathworlds]

the god damn apples

[Bruno]

Not King@

all oil barons r princes and vice versa

[Iron Giant]

Here's to hoping I am the victor

[Elixir]

Here's to hoping I am the victor

Well y'aint.

[Frog]

It's Prince Habeeboo!

I'm so exhausted... I don't think my body can take any more partying

Youth is wasted on the young! Get off my lawn!

[jaczac]

Last post ein

[Frog]

So I just sent a voice not via whatsapp to this woman I want to date. Spill my guts for 2 minutes. Expecting such a rewarding response. Then I receive "Hey your voice message didn't work, I think you had your hand on the speaker" So pissed but I can't do it twice. It's like when you're typing up an essay and your power runs out. You just wrote the most magnificently formulated structure that is now lost, it can never be done the same way again. Maybe I can do it better... 0_0

New Goal, help Frog formulate a love note

[jaczac]

Hey bb u wan sum fuk?

[Frog]

Structure:

1. Greeting
2. Compliment
3. Memory of last night
4. Passion
5. Relevant upcoming event regarding passion
6. Compliment sex
7. Dick Pic

[Frog]

Ok, To resume the love letter break down.

I will:

-Greeting - "Ay Bay"
-What I've been doing - "Helped clean up the trashed house, picked up easily 200 cigarettes, kicked out the partiers who wouldn't leave, slept for 99999 hours, went to work with the biggest smile on my face"
-Compliment & Recall Memory - "You are the most comfortable small spoon ever. I think we have what it takes to win the gold in olympic spooning, but we're going to need more practice."
-Passion - "Maybe we can work on it next weekend, but first there's this thing I've wanted to do for almost a year and I still haven't done it! When was the last time you've been to a waterpark...?"
-Relevant Upcoming event regarding passion - "We bought a packet of waterpark passes starting next weekend at Atlantis Dubai on the Palm, you in?"
-Compliment sex - "O BTW, bring that sexy lingerie you wore last night- We all took a vote on best swim suit and with an overwhelming 10/10 jaws dropped your lingerie won."
-Dick Pick - "Haha, I'm going to stop talking about it because you're going to have me drooling like a fool. Looking forward to this weekend beautiful woman. I'm forwarding you a goofy pic of us from last week."

[Frog]

Story not related to woman above*

******

I met this gorgeous woman the other day; she's young, gorgeous, eastern european, educationally motivated (she has a masters, planning on going back for a PHD), career motivated (she works for a huge company over here), AND she's the opposite of a party girl. She came to a party the other day and left to go to a baby shower with local women. She told me about her philosophy on relationships (supporting your partner) etc. she seems very legit.

So I invite her to a wine and cheese night at my country club. The first thing that came to mind as I sit across this classy sophisticated woman at the fine establishment with an incredible selection of cheeses and wines:

"So... who cut the cheese?"

She laughs
"I did sir" - says the dude with a chefs hat who clearly doesn't speak english well
Everyone at the table cracks up laughing

Fart jokes for the win.

[Frog]

From now on, I will be posting all of my responses in this thread.

________
*Things Fags Wear*

I love that this is a sticky

What a rude, crude, and illiterate title for a thread.

100% agree with you

[Frog]

So I'm considering throwing my hat out of the dating ring. I really like this barbie doll type American.

My Question to YOU is: What is better? The Single Life, or the Married Life?

[Cryptonic]

How old are you, Frog

[Frog]

I'm 25, 4 years out of University.
Longest relationship I've been in was 5 years- a couple years in college, a few years out of college.
I've been enjoying the single life for the last year but it had me realizing exactly what is the point of dating.
I think dating is the means, and marriage is the end goal.
I've been able to meet and understand people from many backgrounds and personalities and I think it's just time for me to stop fucking around and decide what I want.

[Frog]

obligatory post to continue the thread.

[deathworlds]

turn down for what

[Frog]

Reminds me of Creed :'(

[Elixir]

Q: How does a dude who is voted guilty by all people alive walk away innocent?

[ika]

Q: How does a dude who is voted guilty by all people alive walk away innocent?

bail?

[Frog]

Q: How does a dude who is voted guilty by all people alive walk away innocent?

Not only that, but then the judge is sentenced to death.

[Elixir]

A: -votes 5 -100

[deathworlds]

bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.

[timinycricket]

can I win

[Frog]

^May I win?

[Elixir]

I think because I'm Australian I have a natural resistance to certain types of poisons.

If I didn't I'd probably be dead by now.

[Helz]

I love the ratio of Frog to everyone else in this. Its epic

[ika]

filller take off post