Driving While ... (Impaired)

[Frog]

Best story wins cake.


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[BrockSamson]

I have always and will always drive sober, the future of my government clearance demands it. Also, I have never

1) done drugs
2) had sex out of wedlock
3) missed a sunday at church

[Brendan]

I have always and will always drive sober, the future of my government clearance demands it. Also, I have never

1) done drugs
2) had sex out of wedlock
3) missed a sunday at church

i lol'd

[Brendan]

also, where's your story frog?

[Frog]

I have always and will always drive sober, the future of my government clearance demands it. Also, I have never

1) done drugs
2) had sex out of wedlock
3) missed a sunday at church

This is my story

*BTW Brock, *a friend* got top secret clearance having done shameful things but was honest

I'm saving my story for a bit later

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[Cryptonic]

One time I was hanging out with my friends, smoking da ganja, then I took them home and dropped them off. I then got a text for someone who wanted some pills, so I started my way over there. I was cruising with 2 Oz of pot, 50-100 pills of E, pepper spray, knife, baggies, scale, and a g of blow. I turned a corner, and BAM, checkstop.

The cop walks up to my car, bends over and says:
"How much drugs have you been smoking tonight, sir?"

"None, I don't do drugs." I replied.

"Pull over over there, and step out of your car please. Don't forget your ID."

So, I pulled my car over, and got out of the car, and walked up to the cop. I then remembered that I forgot my wallet on my passenger seat, so I went back to get it lols. When I was in my car getting it, there were big buds of weed where I was sitting. I threw the buds on the floor of my car, grabbed my wallet, and walked back to the cop.

He took my licence and looked at it, and started asking me questions as to where I was going. I told him I was going to meet my friend in the north, and he asked me his name and random things like that. He asked me why my car smelled like weed, and I told him I was driving around some friends that were smoking weed.

He was like "You don't seem high, and your breath doesn't smell like marijuana." (lols I ate a bunch of chocolate before leaving my friends.)

He asked me if he could search my vehicle, to which I responded with "What does that involve?".
He said to me "I'll look through your car, and anything I find in it can be used against you."
"Then I can't allow you, because I don't know what my friends might've left in my car." I told him.
"You realize I can get your vehicle towed and search it in the impound lot, right?
Can you go a day without your car?
Can you afford to pay for the towing and to get your car out of impound?"
I was like, "Yes.."

He gave me back my licence and was like "Have a good day, sir. Try not to have anything to drink tonight."

[Glip]

I have no story.

Innocent Kitten has never been "impaired."

[Bunny]

i'm almost always impaired (well not in the last month) but i don't drive so no worries for me! I'm sure crpyt can tell you 9000 thousand stories of my impairment causing him trouble while driving me around tho.

[Cryptonic]

i'm almost always impaired (well not in the last month) but i don't drive so no worries for me! I'm sure crpyt can tell you 9000 thousand stories of my impairment causing him trouble while driving me around tho.

boopboop

[Bunny]

boopboop

haha rubbed my sweaty feet all over the inside of the windshield and you coudlnt see out =P

[Brendan]

One time I was hanging out with my friends, smoking da ganja, then I took them home and dropped them off. I then got a text for someone who wanted some pills, so I started my way over there. I was cruising with 2 Oz of pot, 50-100 pills of E, pepper spray, knife, baggies, scale, and a g of blow. I turned a corner, and BAM, checkstop.

The cop walks up to my car, bends over and says:
"How much drugs have you been smoking tonight, sir?"

"None, I don't do drugs." I replied.

"Pull over over there, and step out of your car please. Don't forget your ID."

So, I pulled my car over, and got out of the car, and walked up to the cop. I then remembered that I forgot my wallet on my passenger seat, so I went back to get it lols. When I was in my car getting it, there were big buds of weed where I was sitting. I threw the buds on the floor of my car, grabbed my wallet, and walked back to the cop.

He took my licence and looked at it, and started asking me questions as to where I was going. I told him I was going to meet my friend in the north, and he asked me his name and random things like that. He asked me why my car smelled like weed, and I told him I was driving around some friends that were smoking weed.

He was like "You don't seem high, and your breath doesn't smell like marijuana." (lols I ate a bunch of chocolate before leaving my friends.)

He asked me if he could search my vehicle, to which I responded with "What does that involve?".
He said to me "I'll look through your car, and anything I find in it can be used against you."
"Then I can't allow you, because I don't know what my friends might've left in my car." I told him.
"You realize I can get your vehicle towed and search it in the impound lot, right?
Can you go a day without your car?
Can you afford to pay for the towing and to get your car out of impound?"
I was like, "Yes.."

He gave me back my licence and was like "Have a good day, sir. Try not to have anything to drink tonight."

sounds like a good time, no checkstops here in the good old USA.

[Brendan]

I'll type up a good story when I get home

[Cryptonic]

sounds like a good time, no checkstops here in the good old USA.

IT WAS TERRIFYING, GOOD THING I AM SO LUCKY IN LIFE.

[BrockSamson]

sounds like a good time, no checkstops here in the good old USA.

You really are 17. There are DUI stop points in USA. Although I believe drug stop points are not allowed. However, I'm sure that if they checkpoint you for DUI and see that you may be high….you'll get a DUI.

[Orpz]

I thought it'd be okay to drive right after getting my wisdom teeth extracted.

[PoDs Smurf]

Driving blindfolded.

I was dared to try to park my car blindfolded while my friends shouted me where to go. It is very scary that you cannot see and barely hear. Took me 15 minutes to park the car.

[Brendan]

You really are 17. There are DUI stop points in USA. Although I believe drug stop points are not allowed. However, I'm sure that if they checkpoint you for DUI and see that you may be high….you'll get a DUI.

lol they are announced and only happen at fairs and shit. I've never seen one.

[Helz]

I have quite a few of these.

First dwi-
Pretty lame. I got hammered the night before and got hit coming back onto base that morning. They had me beyond any doubt but it was thrown out because I was getting out of the Marines the next day.
Second dwi-
I had recently watched some video on a guy fucking with cops and followed his lead. I was pulled over for speeding and the cops first question was 'where are you going in such a hurry.' I said 'that way' and pointed forward. He started asking all kinds of questions and I just kept repeating 'Am I under arrest?' 'Am I free to go?'. Eventually he asked me to step out of the truck and I asked him if he was asking me or telling me. He said he was asking so I said no. Then his buddy pulled up and that guy didn't fuck around. He ordered me out of the truck and asked to search it. When I said no he got his dog and from there he started the search. My favorite moment was when he opened the toolbox and pulled out an 18 inch dildo that was covered in oil. He found my gun and arrested me for committing a crime while carrying a fire arm, speeding, and suspected DWI. I got out on a pr bond and when I requested a trial by jury they dropped everything but the speeding charge. When I got my truck back the dildo was gone.
Third dwi-
Pretty lame as well. I passed out at a stop light and they did a no refusal blood test. This one is still in the works but its getting thrown out because bullshit walks when money talks.
Drinking with a cop-
I got pulled over about a block away from my friends house for not stopping at a stop sign. I was drinking a beer but it was only like my third one so I wasn't really worried. The cop asked if I had been drinking right off the bat and I said yeah. He asked for my license but all I had on me was a military passport. When he saw that I was a marine we started bullshitting and it turned out he was a marine and my unit had relieved his in Afghanistan. After about 20 mins or so I offered him a beer as a joke and he said 'hell yeah'. We ended up killing the rest of that 12 pack right there.
Really stupid driving-
When I was a freshman in high school I got a permit/job/pos car. Back then there was never a moment I was not high. I had done my share of x and came across this thing called 2CI. It was described to me as pretty much the same thing as x so I figured it would be fine to drive on. I kind of lost my sense of reality and drove through peoples yards before crashing into a fence. I still made it home ok but without my left headlight and turning signal

There was another time I got pulled over and a cop tried to get me to admit to smoking weed by telling me my tongue was green.. Recently I quit driving fucked up. Cabs are cheap enough.

Next time you get pulled over remember that you do not have to answer questions. If you are ever fucked up just say no to every sobriety test. Remember that if they get you out of the car they put you in front of theirs for the camera view. You can be fucked up out of your mind but as long as you look good on camera the case will be thrown out as your word against his. Once you are arrested they will strike up conversation without asking questions. This is because they can't legally do so but they want you to incriminate yourself.

One last one..
I was partying with a friend in the barracks and he went to get some cd's out of his truck. He was completely trashed from playing beer pong. We actually had started giving him non-alcoholic PBR's and he didn't even notice. Well as he stumbling to his truck an mp pulled up and asked him something. He laughed and started yelling 'oink oink, pig pig, do away with the pork'. The MP went to arrest him so he jumped in his truck and locked the door. Another guy showed up and they smashed his window and gave him a DWI. The kicker is that his truck had no engine at all and the charges still stuck.

[oops_ur_dead]

I thought it'd be okay to drive right after getting my wisdom teeth extracted.

They don't give you proper pain meds though, just nitrous and local freezing.

[Orpz]

They don't give you proper pain meds though, just nitrous and local freezing.

I only had the numb needles since I only needed 2 extracted

Still it was uncomfortable after the gauzes were filled with blood and I couldn't change it til I got home

[Mateo]

when you drink so much you see triple, the one in the middle is the real one