HOW 2 ENGLISH BECAUSE U SUCK AT ENGLISH PLS READ OKTHX

[FrostByte]

WELCOME TO FROSTBYTE'S TUTORIAL ON HOW TO 2 ENGLISH PROPERLY HOSTED BY THE HOST WITH THE MOST FROSTBYTE





OK, no, seriously, even people who know how to type properly 99% of the time still lack some very basic understanding of some very basic principles of the English language. This isn't all your fault; English is a bitch to learn and a pain in the ass to master. However, if you just follow some of my simple steps, then all will be fine in the world.

Let's start with easy stuff:
Noun - Person, place, thing - The subject of a sentence is always a noun.
"Dark.Revenant is actually a girl." Dark.Revenant is the subject of that sentence

Verb - action word - the subject of a sentence (noun) always performs an action (verb).
"Dark.Revenant is actually a girl." In this case, the word "is" is the verb in the sentence. Dark.Revenant is BEING a girl and BEING is a verb.

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Intermediate stuff:

Who's = contraction for "who is." If you read your sentence and replace "who's" with "who is," and it still sounds good, then you've got the right one.
Good: "I killed RookRanger, who's one of the worst offenders of bad English on sc2mafia.com."
BAD: "Who's butt is in my face?" Oh, right, that's Bunny's butt. I thought it looked familiar.

Whose = possessive form of "who." Basically, when you're talking about someone who has something, you use this word. E.g "Whose butt is in my face?"
WHOSE =/= WHO IS.



To = action word... "I am going to kill you for misusing Engrish"
Too = comparative description word... "You're too fucking dumb to speak proper English."
Two = number... "I kicked that bitch in the face two times for misusing Engrish."


Where = describes the position of something... "Where are you? I'm gonna kick you in the face."
Were = past plural tense of "am." When you are talking about multiple people being somewhere or doing something in the past, you use "were." "They were misusing English, so I killed them."

Your = shows possession of someone you're talking to. "Your English teachers in highschool must have sucked."
You're = contraction for "you are." If you put the words "you are" into your sentence and it doesn't sound right, you're using the wrong form of your.
"You're retarded."
Without contraction: "You are retarded."
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WHEN TO USE APOSTROPHE:
Contractions: "I can't understand how people don't know how to use English properly."
Same sentence WITHOUT CONTRACTIONS: "I cannot understand how people do not know how to use English properly."

To show possession: "I have a boot with RookRanger's name on it."
*SPECIAL NOTE* The only time the apostrophe doesn't apply to possession is when you're using the word "WHOSE."

WHEN TO NOT USE APOSTROPHE:
Present tense verbs OR plural nouns: "It gets on my nerves when people misuse apostrophes."
DO NOT WRITE THE FOLLOWING OR YOU WILL LOOK LIKE A FUCKING LOON: "It get's on my nerve's when people misuse apostrophe's."
When read out fully, the bad sentence would read: "It get is on my nerve is when people misuse apostrophe is."
DOES THAT MAKE FUCKING SENSE?
NO!!!1!!!!!



Swam vs. swum:
When the sentence should include the word "have," you would use swum.
When the sentence should NOT include the word "have," you should use swam.

"I swam in the blood of nazis." is correct.
"I have swum in the blood of nazis." is also correct.




PLEASE READ AND FOLLOW. NONE OF THIS IS VERY HARD AT ALL. YOU WILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT WHILE YOU WRITE FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU GO TO WRITE A RESUME AND DON'T ACCIDENTALLY FUCK SOMETHING UP AND LOOK LIKE A RETARD TO A POTENTIAL EMPLOYER BECAUSE YOU WERE USED TO WRITING IT WRONG.
ALSO IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING STOP PLS.


Also, I really do love you all. This is legitimately for your own help. (It is in a very small amount for my own reasons I will admit, but I did it mostly so you guys could have the benefit.)



If there is anything I should add just suggest and I will try to explain it.
(no offense to DR, lol, it was just the example I thought of. <3)