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Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
As of today I am 6 weeks sober. Most of the regulars I played with already know this, but most of the time I was playing Mafia, I was at least 4 beers deep. It's something you don't even really consider a problem, just part of daily routine until something happens. Getting banned from the game I love was a real wake up call and I realized the sauce unleashed a bunch of hate towards a bunch of innocent mafia players, so even though I'm here sober and I still hate Altech, I never really considered the impact on the good mafia playing people, and I think that's what AA was trying to make me realize all this time. After being able to look back and reflect on everything since I can't play the game, I've really been able to see the game from the eyes of the other 50% of the playerbase that aren't regulars and just regular people playing the game.
And to all those people lynched randomly, or insulted for being dense by me I apologize to you guys. To me I was just having fun, but to you, you guys weren't having fun and in a game it's important for everyone to be having fun, not just some at others expense.
The fact that random people I've never interacted with or though I had interacted with have a problem with me is evidence enough of the problem.
I'm not expecting anything out of this, I just needed to apologize to all the people hurt by my alcoholism, so that I can carry on and continue with my life in a healthier manner.
Thanks Aa for helping me realize that I needed to do this, sorry for all the trouble I caused you guys too.
Sober Man, out.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
As of today I am 6 weeks sober. Most of the regulars I played with already know this, but most of the time I was playing Mafia, I was at least 4 beers deep. It's something you don't even really consider a problem, just part of daily routine until something happens. Getting banned from the game I love was a real wake up call and I realized the sauce unleashed a bunch of hate towards a bunch of innocent mafia players, so even though I'm here sober and I still hate Altech, I never really considered the impact on the good mafia playing people, and I think that's what AA was trying to make me realize all this time. After being able to look back and reflect on everything since I can't play the game, I've really been able to see the game from the eyes of the other 50% of the playerbase that aren't regulars and just regular people playing the game.
And to all those people lynched randomly, or insulted for being dense by me I apologize to you guys. To me I was just having fun, but to you, you guys weren't having fun and in a game it's important for everyone to be having fun, not just some at others expense.
The fact that random people I've never interacted with or though I had interacted with have a problem with me is evidence enough of the problem.
I'm not expecting anything out of this, I just needed to apologize to all the people hurt by my alcoholism, so that I can carry on and continue with my life in a healthier manner.
Thanks Aa for helping me realize that I needed to do this, sorry for all the trouble I caused you guys too.
Sober Man, out.
That's cool man. I'm also never in a good spot when playing games.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Sober Man
Is alcohol a problem?
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
@theoneceko
feels like it's been a while since I last saw. Are you feeling better than before?
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
OzyWho
Sober Man
Is alcohol a problem?
I didn't think it was until AAmirus talked me through it and helped me out.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Only a true honest man could be so honest with himself.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Congrats man, stay strong.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Again, this two-faced liar proves time and time again that he's not worth trusting. Look, I'm glad you're getting help and treatment in your personal life. However, when you sign off with
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
Sober Man, out.
but then later reply as post #5, you didn't really "out". It's very disingenuous and incredibly misleading.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
You are right HentaiMan I have been a liar and I'm sorry for the way it has impacted you, you deserve far better. I'm going to continue to try to do better for people like you. God bless.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
You are right HentaiMan I have been a liar and I'm sorry for the way it has impacted you, you deserve far better. I'm going to continue to try to do better for people like you. God bless.
I strongly recommend going forward you sign off with "God bless" or something of that nature. That way, you don't confuse others as autistic as I am. Thank you.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
And to all those people lynched randomly, or insulted for being dense by me I apologize to you guys. To me I was just having fun, but to you, you guys weren't having fun and in a game it's important for everyone to be having fun, not just some at others expense.
Don't worry bud. A lot of people are having fun playing with you, including me. Things are bland rn. I asked people around in PM and from another mod (keystone, dm 2.0, ks2, etc.) what they'd think about the system. I don't want to talk about it here. But you, getting permabanned also sealed the deal. No one makes a 72222 save and other fun saves are always initiated a leave train by some people cos it wasn't 933/8331. So yeah, don't worry about it. We had 6 months of fun. Also, Taeja and Innovation are also retiring from the pro scenes, funny coincidence. LOLOL. Only returned in sc2 cos of fuckin Avilo being creepy again.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
This is awesome well done ZZorange <3 Sorry about all the annoyance from me <3
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
You are right HentaiMan I have been a liar and I'm sorry for the way it has impacted you, you deserve far better. I'm going to continue to try to do better for people like you. God bless.
I liked you better when you were alcoholic :)
Not sure what impact it had on your real life - but online, it wasn't that bad.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
most of the time I was playing Mafia, I was at least 4 beers deep. It's something you don't even really consider a problem, just part of daily routine
This is why I had to scale back: Gaming and drinking always had a "co-morbidity" kind of effect. It was enjoyable doing one when I was also doing the other.
Breaking a gaming routine is easy. Breaking a drinking routine - with a literally physically and psychologically addictive substance - was hard.
I was never a heavy drinker, but not being able to stop day-to-day, even when I wanted to... was terrifying.
I still drink, but make an occasion of going out to buy it from the grocery store. And I never stock up. If it's in the house, it gets consumed just to get my money's worth. And if it's getting consumed, you can bet I won't be doing anything productive during.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
OzyWho
@
theoneceko
feels like it's been a while since I last saw. Are you feeling better than before?
My mental health has gradually been getting better for a few years. I’ve also been seeing a therapist. Recovery is a slow road that’s full of highs and lows, but I’m slowly getting there.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Thank you for sharing. The first big step you just took. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Focus on doing one right thing in the here and now. Message me if you want to talk.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
HentaiManOfPeace
Again, this two-faced liar proves time and time again that he's not worth trusting. Look, I'm glad you're getting help and treatment in your personal life. However, when you sign off with
but then later reply as post #5, you didn't really "out". It's very disingenuous and incredibly misleading.
His reality in sobriety is probably narrow and functions on a day-to-day basis. Saying stuff life "sober man out" is probably closer to self-encouraging than the way you took it.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
theoneceko
My mental health has gradually been getting better for a few years. I’ve also been seeing a therapist. Recovery is a slow road that’s full of highs and lows, but I’m slowly getting there.
I also want to see a therapist :)
I have insane mood swings that literally make no sense. And I get bothered by trivial stuff. And I get stressed and obsess over the shit I do and the way its interpreted by other people
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Oberon
I also want to see a therapist :)
I have insane mood swings that literally make no sense. And I get bothered by trivial stuff. And I get stressed and obsess over the shit I do and the way its interpreted by other people
Before you do go one though, I feel like you should temper your expectations: https://youtu.be/1xrKMSySQOQ
@theoneceko
Just curious if your personal experience can attest to the validity of that video? It's 17min long, I understand if you don't want to be bothered watching it.
Otherwise though, I imagine a therapist would be quiet enjoyable for Oberon specifically. Because the endlessly repeated questions of "what do YOU think?" would be like candy to him.:laugh:
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Only watched the first few seconds so I don't know if I got it right, but if it says that therapy doesn't have much of an effect... I would not be entirely surprised. I suspect a therapist would only sort of help you figure out what problem it is you have, but then again you can do that on your own if you put enough effort into it.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Oberon
Only watched the first few seconds so I don't know if I got it right, but if it says that therapy doesn't have much of an effect... I would not be entirely surprised. I suspect a therapist would only sort of help you figure out what problem it is you have, but then again you can do that on your own if you put enough effort into it.
For some people it's world changingly beneficial, while for others it's benefits are non-existent.
I honestly think for your personality specifically it'd be very good.
It's just that I think expectations should be tempered to the more realistic before going to a therapist because they're trained to avoid responsibility/accountability and would never tell you stuff like "do this and that and you'll be happier".
There's those like the guy in that vid - who DO take responsibility and DO work with their patients TOGETHER. But that's not technically therapy anymore.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Hey guys if at any point you thought this thread made a mockery out of the very real disease of Alcoholism I apologize. I tried not to make it seem like a joke and portray it seriously as it demands, but apparently I was being offensive so to anyone I offended with this post and AAmirus I am sorry. Thanks for all the supporting words too you guys are great.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
What he meant to say is that he’s not an alcoholic and made the post as a complete lie
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Nah, that part is actually true. I just fed you a lie to see whether you would believe the word that I typed here that was true or your own inherent bias against me and not believe me given the opportunity. I can show you my stein if you want. Not an innuendo, a real 1L stein that I used for beer, i now use 4 water.
It's one of these puppies https://shop.oktoberfest.de/media/im...01_400x400.jpg
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Well, I guess I dislike ZZ now. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
Nah, that part is actually true. I just fed you a lie to see whether you would believe the word that I typed here that was true or your own inherent bias against me and not believe me given the opportunity. I can show you my stein if you want. Not an innuendo, a real 1L stein that I used for beer, i now use 4 water.
Okay then as I said before, if getting banned allowed you to get sober then it’s a good thing right?
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aamirus
Okay then as I said before, if getting banned allowed you to get sober then it’s a good thing right?
You think people can just break an addiction that quickly just because they get banned from a game? That's dismissive as fuck AAmirus. I got myself off the sauce, now you try to take credit for it by banning me? That's sickening AA, seriously disgusting stuff diminishing any other people with a real problem saying it's super easy you just gotta get yourself banned from sc2mafia.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Ah yes the same addiction you’d completely forgotten about and had no idea what i was referring to until I linked you to the thread. Whatever man. You’re acting like I can’t just copy paste ur messages
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Well, if you're telling the truth (which I believe is very possible and thus should be considered as potentially true, guys...): full support to you.
And if you're just a lying asshole, well I cast thou into the deepest part of Hades! You know what you are anyway :P
Good luck anyway!
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Marshmallow Marshall
Well, if you're telling the truth (which I believe is very possible and thus should be considered as potentially true, guys...): full support to you.
And if you're just a lying asshole, well I cast thou into the deepest part of Hades! You know what you are anyway :P
Good luck anyway!
Appreciate the positive vibes Marshmellow. I will admit I was gaslighting AAmirus but that's only because I wanted to know what they truly thought instead of what they say. Show their true colours as it were, they were as I expected unfortunately.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Alright, if someone is repeatedly gonna claim I’m lying what is the ethicality in just posting the screenshots?
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aamirus
Alright, if someone is repeatedly gonna claim I’m lying what is the ethicality in just posting the screenshots?
You're gonna post stuff someone sent you in confidence? That's pretty shady not gonna lie.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ZZorange
You're gonna post stuff someone sent you in confidence? That's pretty shady not gonna lie.
You toyed with people hearts and now have the moral high ground. Pans out.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
aamirus
Alright, if someone is repeatedly gonna claim I’m lying what is the ethicality in just posting the screenshots?
Tbf, for ZZ it's a full time job to twist the narratives how he sees fit.
Please don't waste your time. It's not there's anyone who would trust his word at this point, especially over yours. :/
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
It's not a twisted narrative Ozy it's just a different opinion. Not everything is a conspiracy my man.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Marshmallow Marshall
Well, if you're telling the truth (which I believe is very possible and thus should be considered as potentially true, guys...): full support to you.
And if you're just a lying asshole, well I cast thou into the deepest part of Hades! You know what you are anyway :P
Good luck anyway!
Thee*
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
You know I had a feeling this was fake.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Renegade
You know I had a feeling this was fake.
It's not
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
bump. zz should deserve another chance. Haven't seen this guy use slurs once in all his games.
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Re: Didn't think I was ever gonna post something like this, but AAmirus said to so here we are.
zzorange should be allowed to come back. I am sickened by the behavior of some of the people in here, who I won't mention by name, but you know who you are. Completely trashing zz for coming clean about his addiction. Its clear to me now that zz is being kept out based on the personal feelings of one or more people, and its wrong.
