What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical area?

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November 4th, 2021, 03:16 AM
rumox

What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical area?

Given the recent controversies over certain sports team names and the imminent rebranding of the Cleveland Indians as the Cleveland Guardians, I can't help but wonder what animal mascots would best represent the cities or states their teams reside in.

Take the Tigers for example. When you think of Detroit, you do not think of a jungle ruled over by apex feline predators. I don't know if the Detroit zoo has any tigers, or if Detroit even has a zoo for that matter, but I am 100% certain that there is at least 1 species of animal in Detroit and the surrounding areas that is more populous than tigers. The difficult part, however, is determining which animal is the most populous.

With that in mind, it also gives rise to the concern that some teams would likely share the same name in this scenario due to their close proximity. Both Chicago and New York each have 2 teams, plus the Angels like to pretend that Los Angeles does as well, so there is bound to be some overlap. I have decided that this is okay, primarily because there is no way around it. Just to avoid any confusion as to which identically named team is which though, I'll break up this list by divisions. Anyway though, this is what the MLB would look like if all the teams had to rebrand as the most common animal in their region.

Spoiler : Teams :
AL EAST

Tampa Bay Ants.

Boston Ants.

New York Ants.

Toronto Ants.

Baltimore Ants.

AL CENTRAL

Chicago Ants.

Cleveland Ants.

Detroit Ants.

Kansas City Ants.

Minnesota Ants.

AL WEST

Houston Ants.

Seattle Ants.

Oakland Ants.

Los Angeles Ants of Anaheim.

Texas Ants.

NL EAST

Atlanta Ants.

Philadelphia Ants.

New York Ants.

Miami Ants.

Washington Ants.

NL CENTRAL

Milwaukee Ants.

St. Louis Ants.

Cincinnati Ants.

Chicago Ants.

Pittsburgh Ants.

NL WEST

San Francisco Ants.

Los Angeles Ants.

San Diego Ants.

Colorado Ants.

Arizona Ants.
November 4th, 2021, 05:33 AM
SuperJack

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Ok I would like some proof first. I don't believe that ants are the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical area.
November 4th, 2021, 06:51 AM
Renegade

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Please define "most common". Are we talking about biomass, or some simple "individual" count?
November 4th, 2021, 08:42 AM
Stealthbomber16

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

We need to move this to either circlejerk or serious discussion.
November 5th, 2021, 08:17 PM
Brendan

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Good meme
November 5th, 2021, 09:22 PM
Helz

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Honestly we have kinda gone twards nicknaming organizations that are so douche they act woke. Anyone remember the Washington Dildos?
November 8th, 2021, 06:46 PM
HentaiManOfPeacesGhost

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

You know what would be a better idea? Naming teams based on that cities' most searched keyword on PornHub.

NSFW: https://cs.phncdn.com/insights-stati...e-searches.png

AL EAST

Tampa Bay Trumpers (Trump #1)

Boston Students (College)

New York Footjobbers (Footjob #1)

Toronto Lesbians

Baltimore Backshots (Cumbacks)

AL CENTRAL

Chicago THOTs

Cleveland Cougars (Cougars #1)

Detroit Facesitters (Facesitting)

Kansas City Chubbies (Chubby)

Minnesota POVs

AL WEST

Houston Sexmex (Sexmex #1)

Seattle DPers (Double Penetration)

Oakland Swaggers (Swag #1)

Los Angeles Hatefuckers (Swag #2)

Texas Latina Princesses (Sexmex #2)

NL EAST

Atlanta Ticklers (Tickling)

Philadelphia Fat Asses (Fat Ass #1)

New York Feet Appreciators (Footjob #2)

Miami Trumpers (Trump #2)

Washington Voters

NL CENTRAL

Milwaukee Bondages

St. Louis Unplanned Parents (Accidental Creampie)

Cincinnati Cougars (Cougars #2)

Chicago THOTs

Pittsburgh Big Booties (Fat Ass #2)

NL WEST

San Francisco Brutal Lovers (Swag #3)

Los Angeles Roughriders (Swag #4)

San Diego Conquistadors (Swag #5)

Colorado Anus Lovers (Tushy)

Arizona Navajos
November 8th, 2021, 09:38 PM
Light_Yagami

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Last Time I Watched A Sporting Event Was When The Chicago Bulls Got The Three Peet..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_uOtAkEf6U
November 8th, 2021, 09:43 PM
Light_Yagami

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

But Realistically Watching A Bunch Of Over Payed PPL Playing A Game Is A Waste Of Your Time..
November 8th, 2021, 10:08 PM
Helz

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Quote:

Originally Posted by HentaiManOfPeacesGhost

You know what would be a better idea? Naming teams based on that cities' most searched keyword on PornHub.

NSFW: https://cs.phncdn.com/insights-stati...e-searches.png
AL EAST

Tampa Bay Trumpers (Trump #1)

Boston Students (College)

New York Footjobbers (Footjob #1)

Toronto Lesbians

Baltimore Backshots (Cumbacks)

AL CENTRAL

Chicago THOTs

Cleveland Cougars (Cougars #1)

Detroit Facesitters (Facesitting)

Kansas City Chubbies (Chubby)

Minnesota POVs

AL WEST

Houston Sexmex (Sexmex #1)

Seattle DPers (Double Penetration)

Oakland Swaggers (Swag #1)

Los Angeles Hatefuckers (Swag #2)

Texas Latina Princesses (Sexmex #2)

NL EAST

Atlanta Ticklers (Tickling)

Philadelphia Fat Asses (Fat Ass #1)

New York Feet Appreciators (Footjob #2)

Miami Trumpers (Trump #2)

Washington Voters

NL CENTRAL

Milwaukee Bondages

St. Louis Unplanned Parents (Accidental Creampie)

Cincinnati Cougars (Cougars #2)

Chicago THOTs

Pittsburgh Big Booties (Fat Ass #2)

NL WEST

San Francisco Brutal Lovers (Swag #3)

Los Angeles Roughriders (Swag #4)

San Diego Conquistadors (Swag #5)

Colorado Anus Lovers (Tushy)

Arizona Navajos

This message was halarious and I thank you for it
November 9th, 2021, 08:10 AM
Marshmallow Marshall

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Quote:

Originally Posted by HentaiManOfPeacesGhost

You know what would be a better idea? Naming teams based on that cities' most searched keyword on PornHub.

NSFW: https://cs.phncdn.com/insights-stati...e-searches.png

AL EAST

Tampa Bay Trumpers (Trump #1)

Boston Students (College)

New York Footjobbers (Footjob #1)

Toronto Lesbians

Baltimore Backshots (Cumbacks)

AL CENTRAL

Chicago THOTs

Cleveland Cougars (Cougars #1)

Detroit Facesitters (Facesitting)

Kansas City Chubbies (Chubby)

Minnesota POVs

AL WEST

Houston Sexmex (Sexmex #1)

Seattle DPers (Double Penetration)

Oakland Swaggers (Swag #1)

Los Angeles Hatefuckers (Swag #2)

Texas Latina Princesses (Sexmex #2)

NL EAST

Atlanta Ticklers (Tickling)

Philadelphia Fat Asses (Fat Ass #1)

New York Feet Appreciators (Footjob #2)

Miami Trumpers (Trump #2)

Washington Voters

NL CENTRAL

Milwaukee Bondages

St. Louis Unplanned Parents (Accidental Creampie)

Cincinnati Cougars (Cougars #2)

Chicago THOTs

Pittsburgh Big Booties (Fat Ass #2)

NL WEST

San Francisco Brutal Lovers (Swag #3)

Los Angeles Roughriders (Swag #4)

San Diego Conquistadors (Swag #5)

Colorado Anus Lovers (Tushy)

Arizona Navajos

lol this is a good way to pick. Is there a way to do it with more standard Google though :thinking:
November 15th, 2021, 01:12 AM
Stealthbomber16

Re: What if every team was named after the most abundantly populated animal in their geographical ar

Quote:

Originally Posted by Light_Yagami

But Realistically Watching A Bunch Of Over Payed PPL Playing A Game Is A Waste Of Your Time..

Wait yagami based?!