Sensitization vs Desensitization

The Babbling Intro
My ventures to other FM communities have left me with an impression of the whole FM inter-community network as being something unique in ways that I can't explain. For example, in a random discussion - this statement had a lot of agreement: "I have met more trans and nonbinary folk playing mafia than I have in any other facet of my life."
Also, a very common attitude is having a value that is to not let the feelings of others' be invalidated.
But this thread was prompted by something else.

Main Body
Someone, who has had over the course of time 5 or 6 people close to them die from suicide, has stated that each time they get more sensitive to it. Some others agreed, one of which even stated: "Yeah I'm totally with you here, feels like this have been a thing in my life for way too long, and it definitely makes me more sensitive to it, and I have started to distance myself from my close friends who are suicidal and have a much harder time getting close to people with mental health issues. IRL at least, doesn't seem to affect me as much digitally."

Topic of the Thread
So, people who experience those close to them suiciding - they don't get desensitized to it but rather the exact opposite. It's the opposite of what I'd have expected.
So this brings forth the question: what kind of things do people get sensitized to and kind of things do they get desensitized to?
No example is beneath my interest; feel free to mention and point out anything that comes to mind.

Ring-ring-ring
@Helz
I just want to mention you, so you find your way here, because I feel like you have a higher probability to have experience to share than most. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You just want to see Helz type. This is why you create such interesting topics to bait him in.
And each time you do, it amplifies how awesome his replays are... It's as if I just becomes more sensitive to it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SuperJack

You just want to see Helz type.

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Don't we all? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It’s human nature to eventually get used to something that was novel.

In this post, desensitization basically means getting used to something. Now, here are my thoughts on the OP:

It’s easier for me to get desensitized to something that is good for me than something that is bad for me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by theoneceko

Now, here are my thoughts on the OP:

It’s easier for me to get desensitized to something that is good for me than something that is bad for me.

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To get sensitive to things that are emotionally bad for you, in order to avoid them, makes a ton of sense.

But what's puzlling is when the opposite happens for things that are emotionally good for you. What good have it be to get desensitized to good things?
It makes no sense to me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SuperJack

And each time you do, it amplifies how awesome his replays are... It's as if I just becomes more sensitive to it.

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Tbh I think it's just a sense of familiarity. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Over the years I have kinda been both sensitized and desensitized to suicide. I have involved myself a good bit with veterans programs and it took me a quite a while to not blame myself if one I was close to took their life. A part of that was because I had too strong of an 'internal lotus of control' and would tell myself "I should have noticed/said/done" whatever and they wouldnt be dead if I had. The issue that runs into is that it creates a manufactured emotion that never goes away. The natural emotion is to feel sad but it fades with time while the manufactured emotions never go away because they are created from a belief. So long as that belief exists you will keep feeling that emotion (which is usually something I have found exists in one form or another with people who have chronic depression.)

Before I understood and addressed those thought processes I became hyper sensitive to suicide. Now I acknowledge they are an adult and they will do what they want with their life. I also have the somewhat questionable belief that a basic right as a living entity is to do what you want with your life. I think suicide is a very selfish decision in most circumstances but I disagree with forcing people to live if their quality of life is unacceptable to them. (Theres a lot of 'buts' in my belief there I wont go into but yeah.)

I am also less sensitive to people who talk about taking their life quite often. In my experience the ones that talk about it dont do it. Its usually the ones you knew were in a rough spot but never said anything you end up hearing they offed themselves. For a good chunk of my life I had big problems structuring my interactions and fell into co-dependent bullshit while enabling people more than helping them. I was incapable of recognizing that some people voice their pain to leverage your empathy and create co-dependent relationships. The only way to actually help someone is to create opportunity for them to help themselves.

There are some specific patterns that I am very sensitive to that point to someone being at risk. Usually they have substantial problems in Legal issues, financial issues, and personal relationships. Throw in a helping of substance abuse and you have yourself a person you should worry about. Or if they start giving away items of value (especially ones of extreme sentimental value like medals or heirlooms.)

To the subject I am guessing people become more sensitive because its natural to blame yourself when someone close to you takes their life and there is very little information out there on actually addressing the damaging cognitive structures that creates. Dealing with suicide in various forms has been a big part of my life over the last 10 years and it took me until about 2 years ago to get to this point but I am not sure if I could say if I am overall more or less sensitive. A part of me wonders if I am just much colder given how many conversations I have had with people basically telling them how I enjoyed having them in my life if I dont get to see them again but the pain is different than it once was.

I do like how accepting the FM community is although I do feel some forums take it a bit far. Like ThroneOfLies refers to a lynch as a 'Hug' which kinda makes me roll my eyes but at the same time if the word genuinely offends someone although I think they should develop some thicker skin it doesnt hurt to be courteous so I would never push against it.

Anyways, maybe some bits of this will help people understand the processes they are creating in their head without recognizing it. Blaming yourself for someone's death is extremely dangerous in many respects and I feel its unfortunate how little our society actually enables people to deal with the cognitive functions.

@Helz
This might be me biased because I'm good at being cold, distanced and not caring whenever it'd save me good amount of energy.

But I feel like what you described in your first paragraph is more unique to you than you think; because most people aren't Enneagram 1 type.

As bad as that personality typing stuff is, I think there's truth enough to them to take something out of it. As in this case how people [Enneagrams 1 and 5] have different reactions to stuff like this.

I must say though, this post felt unusually personal from you. Like most everything's based on that first paragraph. Usually you take the more distanced/objective approach.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OzyWho

@Helz
This might be me biased because I'm good at being cold, distanced and not caring whenever it'd save me good amount of energy.

But I feel like what you described in your first paragraph is more unique to you than you think; because most people aren't Enneagram 1 type.

As bad as that personality typing stuff is, I think there's truth enough to them to take something out of it. As in this case how people [Enneagrams 1 and 5] have different reactions to stuff like this.

I must say though, this post felt unusually personal from you. Like most everything's based on that first paragraph. Usually you take the more distanced/objective approach.

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I appreciate the feedback. I will have to give it some thought although my personal experience working with veterans leads me to the belief that what I described is pretty common. To be fair though, my experience is with a specific group of people..

Its a pretty personal subject to me and something that consumes the larger portion of my life. I am not sure how capable I am of being objective on the subject.

If someone close to me suicided, I'd probably blame myself like Helz did.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by theoneceko

If someone close to me suicided, I'd probably blame myself like Helz did.

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I think I was more wrong than right :/

I'm not sure if it really matters, but I'll say it anyway

My only "real" (i.e. not super distant) experience with suicide was that Shaneman guy (you know, he was involved in a ton of parasite drama, then stopped being involved in drama and made 3D models instead?). We had started talking about random stuff on Discord a few months before he suicided. He even had told me he was depressed and basically uninterested in life, and although we discussed it quite a lot one night, I felt like there was pretty much nothing I could do myself, and that was really saddening to see. The last thing we really discussed was some insane paradoxical stuff about Mario 64 speedruns, and since then, I have a little sadness moment every time I see that game, honestly. It certainly didn't desensitize me, on the contrary I'd say.
I hope the guy's fine, if there's anything to be fine about when you're dead.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Marshmallow Marshall

I'm not sure if it really matters, but I'll say it anyway

My only "real" (i.e. not super distant) experience with suicide was that Shaneman guy (you know, he was involved in a ton of parasite drama, then stopped being involved in drama and made 3D models instead?). We had started talking about random stuff on Discord a few months before he suicided. He even had told me he was depressed and basically uninterested in life, and although we discussed it quite a lot one night, I felt like there was pretty much nothing I could do myself, and that was really saddening to see. The last thing we really discussed was some insane paradoxical stuff about Mario 64 speedruns, and since then, I have a little sadness moment every time I see that game, honestly. It certainly didn't desensitize me, on the contrary I'd say.
I hope the guy's fine, if there's anything to be fine about when you're dead.

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I wonder which came first; anhedonia or depression?
I find it interesting that the former can be caused by stress. Literally, too much life causes disinterest in life.. in a matter of speaking.

Moving away from death and that gloomy topic, I'd like to add my input by saying that learning about new things only makes you more sensitive towards that specific field. As in you're more aware of how little you know which only fuels the ambition to learn more. This doesn't mean that everyone has different interests, but ultimately depends situationally on everyone's personal drive that sparks said interest. It is an innate thing that we are born with, and only by continuing to learn will you sharpen your mind. Leave it dull, and you are reinforced with no resolve to learn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OzyWho

I wonder which came first; anhedonia or depression?
I find it interesting that the former can be caused by stress. Literally, too much life causes disinterest in life.. in a matter of speaking.

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I had never seen the word anhedonia before, but that's exactly what had happened there it seems, along with... over-cynicism.

And I completely agree with Wrath