~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~
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  1. #1
    Rachyl
    Guest

    ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    My names Rachyl. Most of you have seen me in SC2mafia or here on the Forums, but to all who don't know me, Hi im Rachyl.
    I struggle with schizophrenia, anxiety, and depression.
    Living with these mental illnesses is really really hard. My life is by no means easy. But it has its moments of pure joy. Like when something good happens, right now I feel happy. SC2Mafia is very therapeutic for me to play. It lets me release all my stress and my anger and just have a good game of mafia. I like this game because you can name yourself whoever you want. I can be Rachyl, Michael Jackson, or even Machine Gun Kelly! Its so fun! This game has brought true joy to my life ever since discovering it in 2015. it helps me with my mental illness by keeping me happy and helping me pass the time. I cant wait for October because my birthday is on Halloween. Yes i said it, im a halloween baby. and proud of it. But anyways back to the topic at hand. Schizophrenia can be a scary illness, and lead you to a scary place where you start to question what is real and what is unreal (fantasy). I take medication for my illness, and I get a shot of haldol decanoate each month which helps with the illness. sometimes i see scary faces in the wall. but i have to tell myself that theres nothing there. Soon, i will be inheriting a lot of money. I intend to store up as much money into the bank as possible and save it for a rainy day, or if theres something I really want. Next is depression. Now the depression can suck really bad because i get sad. Oh and by the way it doesn't help when players in mafia tell me to kill myself in real life, because that actually makes me sad and makes me want to kill myself. By the way for all you who say such things to me, you should be ashamed of yourselves because it shows how immature and cowardly you are. You know who you are. Who tells a girl to kill themselves, like, seriously what the hell is wrong with you people? But you know what pisses me off the most about mafia is when you genuinely have a lead, and the town instead of going off of your lead, they vote you up instead. Its sooooo dumb. I hate that. Anyways. Next is anxiety. Have you ever felt panicked and didnt know what to do? Thats exactly what anxiety is like! You feel like your hyperventilating and cant breathe. i take medication for that too. I think its called melatonin. Oh and for depression I take zoloft. Which makes me feel like a zombie which is why when Im playing mafia sometimes, i drool over my keyboard and die. and then im so zombied out that i forgot to write a last will. sorry about that. I try my best to play the game. I know i gamethrow sometimes but i dont really mean to. After all. the players on mafia are straight up vicious and cutthroat. Players will do and say whatever they have to do to win. Its a bloodthirsty game, it really is. But thats why this game is so fun. Dont be surpised if you get namecalled after you namecall me. because i dont take shit from anyone. And if your a witchhunter you are a loser. Lol like seriously. Some of you join the game just to prefer jailor and kill me whenever you see my name. Thats why ive been naming myself Michael Jackson lately so no one even notices im in the game. Anyways. back to the mental illness thing......When october 10th comes around it will be World Mental Health awareness day, so i will be coming back here to the forums to talk about mentall illness and spread awareness to everyone. my message is is that there is help out there for you. you just need to reach out and people will help you. dont ever kill yourself. thats a bad idea. I know ive kind of ranted but I just felt like venting. I enjoy talking to you guys and playing games with most of you. So far ive made alot of Starcraft friends. Balthy, Distorted, Kira. You guys are all great and i love you. Especially Balthy. hes been so kind and nice to me. I would do anything to see you guys smile for me. I just want to be happy in this life and not have to be depressed. And thank you Dark Revenant for all the good times and the benefactor status. One thing im looking forwards to in the future is cooking new food. Aand possibly hosting my own FMs. (it would be nice if someone taught me how to do that) and most importantly. Im a christian first. And i know someone accused me of not being very-christian the other day. But you guys need to understand that im only human and im responding as a human. We live in a fallen world and we are inhabited by sin. and the Apostle Paul himself even said at one point that in his flesh dwelleth no good thing. I read and study the bible alot. So if your an atheist i am the perfect person to talk to if you are trying to make it to Heaven(in christianity we call it getting Saved and washed in the blood) theres only one way to heaven. and its through the Lord Jesus Christ. I know what your thinking......Gods not real. What has he ever done for me? or, praise Satan! But i want you to ask yourself this question. Are you willing to gamble your eternity in the Lake of Fire by not accepting Jesus Christ? He loves you. God is willing that none should perish and that all should come to repentance the bible says. and the bible says that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God, is eternal life through Jesus Christ. Anyways i know ive kind of ranted but im just trying to pack as much useful information into this post as possible. I love you all! -Rachyl <3

  2. #2

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Well, may Mafia and God help you! Btw, don't take players trash talking personal... They either don't mean it in a personal way, OR they are not worthy of being noticed (If you take pleasure in personally attacking people on a game, you've got a problem...)

    P.S. actually praising satan doesn't happen openly like this, at least I believe lol... so I don't think that that many people here are damned for this ;)
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJack View Post
    I wanted to buy a kinder egg in usa. But apparently they arn't sold because they are too dangerous.
    So I bought two assault rifles instead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stealthbomber16 View Post
    Imagine this convo going down in real life
    “Alright Enzo come shoot my house up tonight, someone else will be there. I think. Most likely.”

  3. #3

  4. #4

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    I might not know you very well, Rachyl, but I hope you'll let me say my bit

    Things people say in the heat of a moment during games: please don't let that get to you. Every existence means *something* to at least *one person*, even a shitty weeb like me. And i'm sure you've touched on the hearts of many people.

    And I totally get what you mean by mental illness, actually. Stealth doesn't know this (as far as i'm aware?) and we're pretty good friends in school, but I actually inherited depression from my dad's side of the family, and frequently get panic attacks. Like not "I'm an Asian and I got a 97" panic attacks, I mean literally nothing's wrong and I'll have difficulty breathing and my chest will tighten up. You're not the only one, and we're all here for you ) I hate to make things go down this route of 'wow what an edgy loser' (even though its true in my case), but whenever I see someone else suffering through the same things as me, I like to speak up about it ) SC2Mafia on this forum is really stressful for me, I can feel my heartrate go up just by visiting the website even though i've only joined what, 3 games now? I'm not even currently in game and it gets to the point where i'm shaking just by logging on

    But I still find this pretty fun. I had to take a break and don't know if i'll stick here for very long this time (it depends on a lot of things), but if you like even a couple people in this community, if you like SC2 Mafia, don't let the occasional scumbag get you down ) more people support you than don't, I would say, you just may not realize it yet. And even if that's not the case, just know that no matter what you'll still have your other friends to back you up all the way.

    Sorry to get so moody lol \o/ I just hate people not being able to do the things they want as a result of the occasional jerk. Don't let those totem poles get in the way of the things you want to do

    @Rachyl
    Doki doki delete yourself (9'^')9

  5. #5

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Quote Originally Posted by Gyrlander View Post
    Rachyl, if you ever felt insulted by me be very aware that I often... Well, insult, yes, but almost all the time I'm not serious. So yeah, be good bby.

    And that Lake of Fire sure sounds comfortable!
    ^^ this. I love you all, I don't really think you guys are totem poles... most of the time at least
    Doki doki delete yourself (9'^')9

  6. #6
    Rachyl
    Guest

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Thanks for all your input guys! and thank you otakudweeb, that is resurring. I dont feel like a loser at all by talking about my life experiences or my faults and flaws. In fact i am very proud of who i am and how far i came. and i like alot of you guys within the sc2mafia community!!!! and i try not to let people get to me, but sometimes i really do feel like people mean me serious harm the way they say things, so it can be pretty depressing. I love all you guys! you have been so supportive of me and i am truly thankful to be alive!!!

  7. #7

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    You see, I think a lot of people thought I was weird when I said you guys were giving me faith in humanity, but maybe you understand more now? =)
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJack View Post
    I wanted to buy a kinder egg in usa. But apparently they arn't sold because they are too dangerous.
    So I bought two assault rifles instead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stealthbomber16 View Post
    Imagine this convo going down in real life
    “Alright Enzo come shoot my house up tonight, someone else will be there. I think. Most likely.”

  8. #8

  9. #9

  10. #10

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachyl View Post
    I struggle with schizophrenia, anxiety, and depression.
    I love you all! -Rachyl <3
    I think you are very brave for sharing your story Rachyl!! We love you and are here for you too! The gaming community is really awesome for that, even if there are a few asshats along the way.
    I also have really bad anxiety and depression...daddy abuse

    im taking Sertraline for depression, Buspirone is an anxiolytic drug for the anxiety, and i am taking Bupropion for anxiety and to help me focus. <3 you are not alone

    Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year!! That is so awesome! Candy and cake! Weeee!!

  11. #11
    Rachyl
    Guest

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Quote Originally Posted by Efekannn02 View Post
    Rachyl are you gonna play the next FM atleast?
    Whats the next FM? id love to play!

  12. #12
    Rachyl
    Guest

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Quote Originally Posted by Smitty View Post
    I think you are very brave for sharing your story Rachyl!! We love you and are here for you too! The gaming community is really awesome for that, even if there are a few asshats along the way.
    I also have really bad anxiety and depression...daddy abuse

    im taking Sertraline for depression, Buspirone is an anxiolytic drug for the anxiety, and i am taking Bupropion for anxiety and to help me focus. <3 you are not alone

    Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year!! That is so awesome! Candy and cake! Weeee!!
    thanks smitty! <3

  13. #13

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachyl View Post
    Whats the next FM? id love to play!
    http://www.sc2mafia.com/forum/showth...-Jidai-Signups

    Game's planned start date is on Monday. To avoid having... issues, let's do something: no trash talking from anyone. And no preaching in-game. Not that it's not ok to preach, but a game of Mafia is a game of Mafia. This should avoid the previous dramas and make the game more enjoyable for everyone

    ALL ABOARD THE SIGN TRAIN!

    Btw I'm kinda glad that you like our community ^^
    @Rachyl
    Quote Originally Posted by SuperJack View Post
    I wanted to buy a kinder egg in usa. But apparently they arn't sold because they are too dangerous.
    So I bought two assault rifles instead.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stealthbomber16 View Post
    Imagine this convo going down in real life
    “Alright Enzo come shoot my house up tonight, someone else will be there. I think. Most likely.”

  14. #14

  15. #15

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    I struggle with mental illness too. haldol shots and pills, atavan, ect. I had a pretty bad head injury a year and a half ago. worst problem is thati hallucinate ever since. i like mafia to help fill time and keep the hallucinations away. wish you the best of luck with your illness.
    Last edited by tsc2077; October 19th, 2018 at 05:57 PM.

  16. #16

    Re: ~Mentall Ilness and Evangelism~

    To all of you softhearts encouraging her here, please bear in mind that when players insult her, often it is well-deserved. For your reference please look at this replay: http://www.sc2mafia.com/forum/showth...611#post764611

    So when she says shit like "SC2 mafia makes me happy", please remember that it is at the expense of a whole lot of other people. The needs of the many outweigh the one; also mental illness does not absolve an individual of all responsibility; there is no excuse for her behaviour.

    She pulls that shit very often to a wide range of players. Imagine game after game where it's just that shitfest over and over.

    As for her being sorry and that it's unintentional: all lies. A bit of context for you:
    (1) She been doing this shit for years lol. If you think she's actually sorry, you're hella gullible.
    (2) When I confront her, she's hella proud of what she's doing, and she belligerently dares me to report her, and says shit like, "No proof." It's highly deliberate and not at all unintentional.

    "Unintentional" "sometimes" Yeah keep downplaying all the shit you pull and make it seem like you're the victim here.

    She's a manipulative little turd who knows how to play her "mentally ill" card to exploit people's goodwill. You look at a helpless little mentally ill girl and your first response is to feel sympathy and be encouraging, right? She knows how to use that shit.

    So before you make a reactionary post driven by your initial emotional response ("She's just a little kid, man"), please review that replay, multiply that a hundred times and spread it across the 3 years that she's been here, AND THEN make an informed reply.

    * * *

    P.S. Oh and notice that she talks a lot about how other people diss her and tell her to kill herself and shit, but only makes a brief statement about her own behaviour? Just to let you know, SHE goes apeshit on plenty of other people and tells them to kill themselves too and talks about their families to boot. For reference see that replay. Hypocrite much? So don't go feeling too sorry for her lol.

    Best part is she says, "By the way for all you who say such things to me, you should be ashamed of yourselves because it shows how immature and cowardly you are. You know who you are. Who tells a girl to kill themselves, like, seriously what the hell is wrong with you people?" and "And if your a witchhunter you are a loser." Top-effing-kek, why are you insulting yourself?

    * * *

    P.P.S. Oh she openly admitted "Dont be surpised if you get namecalled after you namecall me. because i dont take shit from anyone."

    I rest my case.

    If you think that's commendable behaviour and that she's a tough girl who takes no shit from no one and she's correct for standing up for herself by fighting fire with fire, and that two wrongs make a right, I got nothing to say except maybe you need to adjust your moral compass and your brain a little. That shit is neither right nor will it solve the problem, it'll just escalate the conflict.

    * * *

    P.P.P.S. Don't think I'm hating on her because of her illness. I got friends with illnesses too. They have problems but they're alright. I treat them like how I treat everybody else, with a small leeway to account for their problems. They like that I respect them like normal people - which they are, just that they have some problems, but who doesn't?

    So if you gonna defend her, make sure you're defending her for the right reasons and not because you're all in the same boat suffering from similar illnesses and that you "know what it's like to be in her position". Sympathy is great and all but don't mix that up with right and wrong; it's like punishing spoilt children who burst out crying the moment you take a stern tone with them.
    Last edited by Exeter350; October 19th, 2018 at 01:22 PM.


    Your friendly neighbourhood Asian.

  17. #17

 

 

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