I'm lonely and it does not bother me

[RLVG]

Disowned by half the family (not parrents) and barely any visits ever from them, close friends that move and doesn't hold contact or just outright vanish, at best cinema once a month with one friend.

Does this bother me? Not really, I'm introverted and kinda of a lonewolf.

What bothers me however is that my close friends vanish.
For example Alex, we were close and almost bromance, then he disappeared and I can't find him even if I search his full name.



Why the fuck are the illuminati kidnapping and erasing my friends?

Just letting this off my chest.

The worst loneliness / emptiness is the absence of someone you have known forever, it's like living in the same house for 30 years then you move to a different house with less space and furniture.

Otherwise it doesn't bother me, I'm perfectly fine alone.
Cinema once a month seems good enough.

Does anyone relate to this?

[Yukitaka Oni]

>)o.o)> clap clap clap

[powerofdeath]

In Kindergarten, I went to a public school with 4 other deaf students. We were in almost every class together because the interpreter cant split up and the school doesnt want to hire 4 interpreters so they put us together. All of us are best friends. However, most of us aren't from the town. You have to live in the town to attend the school. I do live in the town, but my friends don't. They live like few towns away. Our school have a deaf program that allow deaf people from other towns to attend their school. At the end of the eighth grade, the school district was having financial issues, and they decided to close the deaf program, so all of my best friends went away to different school, and I get to stay because I already live there. So I entered the high school without any best friends and I was all alone. I was very lonely and depressed during 9th grade, and I kinda shut out the outside world and play games all day and night. I wasn't very good at socializing with people who doesn't know sign language. I eventually got slightly better, every year and worked on communication, and attend speech therapy classes to help me speak, I met some friends and taught them sign language and one of them ended up being my girlfriend. Even though we broke up, she helped me out of my loneliness. It was nice. Then I went to RIT, like 10-20% of the school is deaf and I was able to socialize with a lot of other students here. That's my story I guess.

[Frog]

I think being alone is easy, and it's a choice.

Choosing to go out and put yourself out there meeting people is harder, but it's the better choice.

Existential dread is humanly universal- everyone eventually encounters it and deals with it in some way. The most common coping mechanisms of existential dread are to opt out of living and engaging with others, or distracting yourself from it with whatever stimulates pleasure centers or fucks with perception (sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping, work, gaming, etc.)

Kierkegaard, the father of existentialism, was a weird dude. He philosophized, documented, and dealt with existential dread. He was a social recluse madly in love with the woman who lived in front of him but couldn't bring himself to go and tell her because he kept thinking, 'what's the point? My mind is a cell from which I cannot escape.' He philosophized that the only things that were real were moments, and you were only alive when you were in your current moment thinking and experiencing. The problem was that only you could experience your own thoughts, you couldn't experience someone else's thoughts. This was quite depressing for him. He ultimately realized that the greatest moments are when you are alive in the moment and share the moment with someone else. Where someone else is thinking and feeling and living in a moment the same way you are living in your moment - now together the two are sharing the same moment and that moment becomes greater than oneself. Basically, he philosophizes a proof that being alive with someone else instead of being alone is the best way to live. Ironically, he never professes his love for the woman he loves and dies alone. After the woman dies, letters are found that reveal the woman was anguishing over the same thoughts and did truly love Kierkegaard. Such sadness that they both recognized what would be best for them but were never able to carry out what their inner thoughts told them.

Point is, don't lock yourself out of life or you'll miss out on the best parts. :-)

[RLVG]

Kierkegaard, the father of existentialism, was a weird dude. He philosophized, documented, and dealt with existential dread. He was a social recluse madly in love with the woman who lived in front of him but couldn't bring himself to go and tell her because he kept thinking, 'what's the point? My mind is a cell from which I cannot escape.' He philosophized that the only things that were real were moments, and you were only alive when you were in your current moment thinking and experiencing. The problem was that only you could experience your own thoughts, you couldn't experience someone else's thoughts. This was quite depressing for him. He ultimately realized that the greatest moments are when you are alive in the moment and share the moment with someone else. Where someone else is thinking and feeling and living in a moment the same way you are living in your moment - now together the two are sharing the same moment and that moment becomes greater than oneself. Basically, he philosophizes a proof that being alive with someone else instead of being alone is the best way to live. Ironically, he never professes his love for the woman he loves and dies alone. After the woman dies, letters are found that reveal the woman was anguishing over the same thoughts and did truly love Kierkegaard. Such sadness that they both recognized what would be best for them but were never able to carry out what their inner thoughts told them.

Point is, don't lock yourself out of life or you'll miss out on the best parts. :-)

Frog, go direct a movie of this you capitalist. $$$

It was an interesting read and does bring some perceptive, however I'm not locking myself. While my life is kinda sucky, I still have a great life: I live with my parents because we are a family and need eachothers, I usually get what I want except of some deep dreams that'll never happen (SPACE) and the very few friends that are around are good in heart with no intend of wanting to hurt and deceive me.

The problem is when someone just vanishes from your life, it'll leave a hole. My two dogs died, 11 friends have vanished from the earth (who I can't even figure out what happened) and blabla. It's not something that'll return. I know how to live with it and it's all memories.

That's why I say it doesn't bother me: I have learned to live with it.

If I read between the line and you're suggesting to find a partner, that's extremely difficult because of how picky and specific I am. :cheesy:
I don't really care on that stuff.



The internet on the other hand, I have a lot of friends. Most of you are here and that's why I'm still around in this forum. :love:

[Frog]

Yes, get a partner (if that will make you happy).

I grew up constantly moving around so I've accepted that as people grow apart they develop their own new lives. With this mentality it was pretty easy to cope with never seeing someone again because I knew there were always opportunities to meet new people. Yeah, I've been there. Every time I moved as a kid I'd worry I'd never make new friends, I wouldn't be as happy etc. But I was wrong every time, thankfully.

As for losing someone momentously important in your life - take what you've got from your experiences with them and you'll carry their spirit with you.

-side note- Was it your brother I chatted with on SC2? I think he mentioned he doesn't come on the forums here to give you privacy.

[RLVG]

Yes, get a partner (if that will make you happy).

That'll happen in about 3-5 years. I don't want one at the moment and it would make me unhappy if it was now.


-side note- Was it your brother I chatted with on SC2? I think he mentioned he doesn't come on the forums here to give you privacy.

I don't have a brother. Based on that you mentioned they don't come to the forums to give me privacy, I think you mean my "imaginary titled sister".
We have known eachothers for 13 years, we're not related but she calls me her brother and I call her my sister lol.

(And before you suggest something, no, she's a lesbian)



Edit : How often do she play SC2? From what I heard last time, she stopped playing because of repetitive strain injury.

[Frog]

That'll happen in about 3-5 years. I don't want one at the moment and it would make me unhappy if it was now.

It's all practice man.

As for your sister, she knew your name (I think she included a middle or hyphenated name that made sense to me) so I believed it. We played a game of mafia but I don't think I added her to my friends so I don't really know how often she plays. Must have been a couple of weeks - a month back.

[Orpz]

In Kindergarten, I went to a public school with 4 other deaf students. We were in almost every class together because the interpreter cant split up and the school doesnt want to hire 4 interpreters so they put us together. All of us are best friends. However, most of us aren't from the town. You have to live in the town to attend the school. I do live in the town, but my friends don't. They live like few towns away. Our school have a deaf program that allow deaf people from other towns to attend their school. At the end of the eighth grade, the school district was having financial issues, and they decided to close the deaf program, so all of my best friends went away to different school, and I get to stay because I already live there. So I entered the high school without any best friends and I was all alone. I was very lonely and depressed during 9th grade, and I kinda shut out the outside world and play games all day and night. I wasn't very good at socializing with people who doesn't know sign language. I eventually got slightly better, every year and worked on communication, and attend speech therapy classes to help me speak, I met some friends and taught them sign language and one of them ended up being my girlfriend. Even though we broke up, she helped me out of my loneliness. It was nice. Then I went to RIT, like 10-20% of the school is deaf and I was able to socialize with a lot of other students here. That's my story I guess.

One of my close friends was born deaf. She doesn't know any sign language (neither do I) so when I talk to her I have to speak really slowly or just type it out. Most of the math department's teachers have heavy accents, so it's hard for her to follow along, even with a stenographer. Luckily I'm pretty good at drawing the structures.

Do you have a stenographer for every class? I've made friends with a lot of them since I hang out with her a lot.

[powerofdeath]

One of my close friends was born deaf. She doesn't know any sign language (neither do I) so when I talk to her I have to speak really slowly or just type it out. Most of the math department's teachers have heavy accents, so it's hard for her to follow along, even with a stenographer. Luckily I'm pretty good at drawing the structures.

Do you have a stenographer for every class? I've made friends with a lot of them since I hang out with her a lot.

No, theyre usually for people who doesn't know sign language. Though one of them is in one of my class for this dude who doesn't know how to sign.

Also we called it differently here. Had to research what stenographer means. Is she in law major or something? Because google said its mainly for law and court.

[Orpz]

No, theyre usually for people who doesn't know sign language. Though one of them is in one of my class for this dude who doesn't know how to sign.

Also we called it differently here. Had to research what stenographer means. Is she in law major or something? Because google said its mainly for law and court.

We're both math majors. The stenographer uses a special keyboard to type out everything the professor says so my friend can read it since listening is much more difficult. It looks insane to learn, but the people type so fast they actually can catch up with the professor's lecture.