I ASKED HER OUT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!

[yzb25]

AND SHE SAID YES!!!



Jk, she refused me casually, and I stammered like I had turrets syndrome because it was the first time I'd tried to ask a girl out. However - do not fret dear friend! For I have an infallible solution to this issue!

I have calculated the chances of her saying yes (including scenarios where she is partially misguided by drugs or has a tongue slip) to be approximately 2%. This may seem low, but I have a mathematical solution to guarantee success: With one attempt, my chances stand at 2%. But 2 attempts? Well, well, well! My calculator puts that at a whopping 3.96% chance! And 3 attempts? By golly, that's an incredible 5.88% chance! In fact, a mere 20 attempts yields a vast 33.23% success rate! That's almost a third! With this approach, success is guaranteed if I can get enough attempts before a restraining order takes place, or some big beefy boyfriend steps in.

Mattzed, it would be greatly appreciated if you could review my statistical analysis, if you read this post. And, I'd be grateful if someone shared rejection tales and/or advice.

[DarknessB]

Practice and confidence, my friend. Don't think of it in terms of Math, think of it in terms of marketing. Either the baseline didn't work for her (e.g. she likes tall guys and you're shorter) or if it did, you didn't sell the package well enough to her (as you said, stammering / lack of confidence). Focus more on projecting your positive aspects and demonstrating that you have value / are worth a girl's time.

Your math point gets at the core point though. If you keep trying / improving with how you approach girls, you'll get to yes. Just don't get fixated on any one in particular and if they say no, be respectful / accept that answer.

[Orpz]

False, using a binomial probability density function, your correct success rates for a yes (mapped versus attempts) are:

X - Y
1 - 2.00%
2 - 3.92%
3 - 5.76%
20 - 27.2%

Unfortunately, more than just the math is flawed. Your problem doesn't properly address for all binomial conditions. For instance, each event is not independent of each other; this is obvious when thought about. Because this fails, one may safely assume that the probability of success is not uniform for all attempts.

[Orpz]

I got rejected once.

She just wasn't into me, so I walked it off and studied math.

[yzb25]

Practice and confidence, my friend. Don't think of it in terms of Math, think of it in terms of marketing. Either the baseline didn't work for her (e.g. she likes tall guys and you're shorter) or if it did, you didn't sell the package well enough to her (as you said, stammering / lack of confidence). Focus more on projecting your positive aspects and demonstrating that you have value / are worth a girl's time.

Your math point gets at the core point though. If you keep trying / improving with how you approach girls, you'll get to yes. Just don't get fixated on any one in particular and if they say no, be respectful / accept that answer.

Thanks man.


False, using a binomial probability density function, your correct success rates for a yes (mapped versus attempts) are:

X - Y
1 - 2.00%
2 - 3.92%
3 - 5.76%
20 - 27.2%

Unfortunately, more than just the math is flawed. Your problem doesn't properly address for all binomial conditions. For instance, each event is not independent of each other; this is obvious when thought about. Because this fails, one may safely assume that the probability of success is not uniform for all attempts.

Oh noes! I thought binomial stuff only came into play when you had to consider permutations 'n' shit! WE MUST REBUILD FROM THE GROUND UP!!!

P.S. I would argue that previous failures do not change the probability in the slightest, as she will still remain in that "meh... no..." sort of state no matter how many times you ask! And hence each attempt is independent!

But agreed, maths is a perfect substitute for the touch of a woman, no matter what way you look at it.

[Numbertwo]

My success rate is on 100% so far.

[yzb25]

My success rate is on 100% so far.

How do you get into your bedroom to sleep at nights with the constant pussy tornado blowing out of the doorway and into the hall?

[DarknessB]

P.S. I would argue that previous failures do not change the probability in the slightest, as she will still remain in that "meh... no..." sort of state no matter how many times you ask! And hence each attempt is independent!

Are we talking about asking the same woman multiple times? If so, then the probability changes a lot, in the negative direction. Most women don't like having to turn down a guy over and over and over, so your chances go way down after you get "no" the first time. It's sort of like standardized tests -- the people who fail once have a much lower pass rate when they retake the exam (some were flukes for sure, but others just weren't prepared). And, if you fail twice or more, you're basically done.

If you're talking about different women, then the percentage is going to be incredibly variable as well, depending on if you've learned anything from previous rejections (could be positive lessons, could be bitterness that hurts you) and the individual preferences of the woman you're asking out this time.

[Numbertwo]

How do you get into your bedroom to sleep at nights with the constant pussy tornado blowing out of the doorway and into the hall?

It's not easy, but my wife has made it clear that she will cut it off if i try anything.

[yzb25]

Are we talking about asking the same woman multiple times? If so, then the probability changes a lot, in the negative direction. Most women don't like having to turn down a guy over and over and over, so your chances go way down after you get "no" the first time. It's sort of like standardized tests -- the people who fail once have a much lower pass rate when they retake the exam (some were flukes for sure, but others just weren't prepared). And, if you fail twice or more, you're basically done.

If you're talking about different women, then the percentage is going to be incredibly variable as well, depending on if you've learned anything from previous rejections (could be positive lessons, could be bitterness that hurts you) and the individual preferences of the woman you're asking out this time.

In the context of the maths, it was focused on the same lady, yes. Is there some girl-equivalent of writing all the facts on your underarm (after taking off your long sleeve jacket once you sit down) and stretching in the exam?

[Bunny]

Lol I tried to make a relationship happen once, but it just apparently never would. I don't think I've ever asked anyone out. Don't see why it would be that big a deal though! GL next time! I've turned guys down though, that seems like it's way harder than asking someone out!

[NoctiZ]

Orpz is my favorite asian guy. If I could be his friend IRL I would be soooo happy.. He's so cool and manly and smart! #nohomobro

Oh, I also asked someone out once. Got rejected but played it cool. She was impressed with how I handled the rejection. The twist: I wasn't considering dating her seriously, I just wanted to see if I'd succeed in asking her out.

[Numbertwo]

Lol I tried to make a relationship happen once, but it just apparently never would. I don't think I've ever asked anyone out. Don't see why it would be that big a deal though! GL next time! I've turned guys down though, that seems like it's way harder than asking someone out!

I don't know how i can respond to this.

[DarknessB]

Lol I tried to make a relationship happen once, but it just apparently never would. I don't think I've ever asked anyone out. Don't see why it would be that big a deal though! GL next time! I've turned guys down though, that seems like it's way harder than asking someone out!

It's a big deal to the extent you become overly invested in the decision of the person you're asking out -- i.e. you feel crushed by the rejection and had built up an image of this perfect person in your head that comes crashing down all of a sudden. This is the one area of life where it's by definition personal, lol. That's why it's better not to get too attached before you find out if they're interested.

[Bunny]

It's a big deal to the extent you become overly invested in the decision of the person you're asking out -- i.e. you feel crushed by the rejection and had built up an image of this perfect person in your head that comes crashing down all of a sudden. This is the one area of life where it's by definition personal, lol. That's why it's better not to get too attached before you find out if they're interested.

I guess! I just think if I'm not wanted and rejected they weren't the one and move on! Billions out there!

[NoctiZ]

I guess! I just think if I'm not wanted and rejected they weren't the one and move on! Billions out there!

You might get stuff like "Ugh, go away, creep!" in the rare instances and thiniing of that blows hard if it were to happen but atleast then you could think "that girl was a bitch anyway".

Thing is, if you get rejected too many times you start doubting yourself. Each rejection is reinforcing the idea that you're not wanted in some way or another if you fall into that pit. That's what most guys fear I'd wager.

[yzb25]

You might get stuff like "Ugh, go away, creep!" in the rare instances and thiniing of that blows hard if it were to happen but atleast then you could think "that girl was a bitch anyway".

Thing is, if you get rejected too many times you start doubting yourself. Each rejection is reinforcing the idea that you're not wanted in some way or another if you fall into that pit. That's what most guys fear I'd wager.

This is quite a complex thing, It seems. Most people can't really seem to summarize the feeling in a few sentences. I definitely don't feel the second paragraph but I definitely feel the first paragraph and (in the past) Darkness' explanation. But personally I'm quite an anxious person. I have homework that is due for tomorrow. My teacher is super cool and won't mind giving me a short extension to do it (all I'll get is a momentary irritated look) but it's still bothering me as I type this. Ffs xD

Tbf though, about people throwing a hissy fit - I've never actually heard of that happening. I can imagine a tragically awkward man getting an "ew creep" response, but I think it's far rarer than some men fear.

Also, while your philosophy is the philosophy I and many others try to adopt Bunny, in practice it never quite seems to go according to plan xD.

[Bunny]

You might get stuff like "Ugh, go away, creep!" in the rare instances and thiniing of that blows hard if it were to happen but atleast then you could think "that girl was a bitch anyway".

Thing is, if you get rejected too many times you start doubting yourself. Each rejection is reinforcing the idea that you're not wanted in some way or another if you fall into that pit. That's what most guys fear I'd wager.

I always think it's ones job to build their own self confidence, you can't rely on others for building or breaking it. A lot of guys are creeps! Most times women just want to go out and not be harassed by men. It does suck initially for it to happen, it can be awkward and embarrassing, but it doesn't make you and shouldn't break you! Maybe it would make you reevaluate your efforts and methods of approach! Being rejected frequently often can mean you are going after the same type of wrong person!

[NoctiZ]

I always think it's ones job to build their own self confidence, you can't rely on others for building or breaking it. A lot of guys are creeps! Most times women just want to go out and not be harassed by men. It does suck initially for it to happen, it can be awkward and embarrassing, but it doesn't make you and shouldn't break you! Maybe it would make you reevaluate your efforts and methods of approach! Being rejected frequently often can mean you are going after the same type of wrong person!

I'm just saying what I thinki might be true for many people as I've read other people's opinions on this topic quite often. I've not asked out many people myself (actually only one so far and that was the person I mentioned in my earlier post) so I'm not sure what I'd feel if I got rejected after really wanting this person to react positively but I'm sure it's the idea of rejection that's scaring me far more than being rejected itself.

[Frog]

AND SHE SAID YES!!!



Jk, she refused me casually, and I stammered like I had turrets syndrome because it was the first time I'd tried to ask a girl out. However - do not fret dear friend! For I have an infallible solution to this issue!

I have calculated the chances of her saying yes (including scenarios where she is partially misguided by drugs or has a tongue slip) to be approximately 2%. This may seem low, but I have a mathematical solution to guarantee success: With one attempt, my chances stand at 2%. But 2 attempts? Well, well, well! My calculator puts that at a whopping 3.96% chance! And 3 attempts? By golly, that's an incredible 5.88% chance! In fact, a mere 20 attempts yields a vast 33.23% success rate! That's almost a third! With this approach, success is guaranteed if I can get enough attempts before a restraining order takes place, or some big beefy boyfriend steps in.

Mattzed, it would be greatly appreciated if you could review my statistical analysis, if you read this post. And, I'd be grateful if someone shared rejection tales and/or advice.

You're absolutely hilarious. :laugh:

What did you ask her out to?
I've never had someone say no to going out for a bite, drink, anything really.
Depends on your goals, but casual weekend brunch works best if you're trying to get to know her.

What was your approach?
Honesty is a very attractive feature, and it's easily confused with confidence.
"Hey, I've seen you around so much but we've never really hung out. Let's chat over pancakes on Sunday. You know that Jack Johnson song, 'Banana Pancakes' *sings part of it*? Let's grab some Sunday XX:XX at XXXXXXX. I promise I won't sing.

[yzb25]

You're absolutely hilarious. :laugh:

What did you ask her out to?
I've never had someone say no to going out for a bite, drink, anything really.
Depends on your goals, but casual weekend brunch works best if you're trying to get to know her.

What was your approach?
Honesty is a very attractive feature, and it's easily confused with confidence.
"Hey, I've seen you around so much but we've never really hung out. Let's chat over pancakes on Sunday. You know that Jack Johnson song, 'Banana Pancakes' *sings part of it*? Let's grab some Sunday XX:XX at XXXXXXX. I promise I won't sing.

Awwh man, that sounds far better than what I did. I literally asked "Go on a date with me?". I wanted to be as direct as possible, because that seemed like the most humane approach, and also the idea of being friendzoned honestly scares the crap out of me - I've had one horrible experience with that place! I know about all that "you shouldn't just see a relationship as the ultimate objective blahblahblah" but... well... I can't help it... When I fancy someone, I do xD.

Anyway, now that you draw attention to it, maybe I should have started with the proposition of going out to lunch, rather than wacking out the D (word) like that. I'll probably have a better outcome with being only 90% blunt, while retaining some moral integrity, right?

Anyway, she gave me a very relaxed but simple "no". She really defused all the tension with her tone. In a weird way, I'm kind of grateful I got rejected so smoothly. I wasn't expecting a yes and I really wanted to just break that infernal, weedy, adolescent, "mehhh don't ask her out yet - just wait 3 months and see what happens first!" mentality I'd built up within myself.

[Funce]

You have done well. Yzb.

[Brendan]

I got rejected once.

She just wasn't into me, so I walked it off and studied math.

fking nerd

[DarknessB]

I always think it's ones job to build their own self confidence, you can't rely on others for building or breaking it. A lot of guys are creeps! Most times women just want to go out and not be harassed by men. It does suck initially for it to happen, it can be awkward and embarrassing, but it doesn't make you and shouldn't break you! Maybe it would make you reevaluate your efforts and methods of approach! Being rejected frequently often can mean you are going after the same type of wrong person!

This is absolutely correct, but it's far harder to have this mindset when it's happening to you. I mean, some people are just going to have a more diffcult time due to bad luck -- think very short guys or very heavy women as two easy examples. I would imagine most of us are within the average so it's more an issue of confidence and approach than it is simply being found unattractive by most others.

Also, part of it is going after the right people, but the other half is presenting yourself well. Even the best person is going to have a rough time if there isn't confidence, good hygeine, being nice but a doormat or sketchy, etc. This is to say, people should never give up, but should view rejection as a chance to refine their approach so they can do better next time. Sometimes, it's totally arbitrary for sure, but might as well take it as a chance to learn vs. getting overly bummed about it.

[DarknessB]

Awwh man, that sounds far better than what I did. I literally asked "Go on a date with me?". I wanted to be as direct as possible, because that seemed like the most humane approach, and also the idea of being friendzoned honestly scares the crap out of me - I've had one horrible experience with that place! I know about all that "you shouldn't just see a relationship as the ultimate objective blahblahblah" but... well... I can't help it... When I fancy someone, I do xD.

Anyway, now that you draw attention to it, maybe I should have started with the proposition of going out to lunch, rather than wacking out the D (word) like that. I'll probably have a better outcome with being only 90% blunt, while retaining some moral integrity, right?

Anyway, she gave me a very relaxed but simple "no". She really defused all the tension with her tone. In a weird way, I'm kind of grateful I got rejected so smoothly. I wasn't expecting a yes and I really wanted to just break that infernal, weedy, adolescent, "mehhh don't ask her out yet - just wait 3 months and see what happens first!" mentality I'd built up within myself.

Sometimes the ease in is better. Going all out forces her to decide there and then whether she has enough skin in the game to get at least a little bit more serious with you. In most cases, especially where you don't her well, better to establish a casual rapport where you've had some time together to see how you two interact one-on-one, etc.

[Yukitaka Oni]

Mein Girl friend? Neva heard of it
Friendzone? Welcome lawl

[Orpz]

Thanks man.



Oh noes! I thought binomial stuff only came into play when you had to consider permutations 'n' shit! WE MUST REBUILD FROM THE GROUND UP!!!

P.S. I would argue that previous failures do not change the probability in the slightest, as she will still remain in that "meh... no..." sort of state no matter how many times you ask! And hence each attempt is independent!

But agreed, maths is a perfect substitute for the touch of a woman, no matter what way you look at it.

You were probably using the conjugate of the probability that both attempts are rejections (1 - p). It's almost correct, the conjugate of that probability in context would be the % chance of "at least one yes". But that also includes 2+ yes's, which is not what we're looking for in this scenario, so we'd have to exclude those events too.

My current girlfriend rejected me before we got together since she didn't know much about me. I stayed friends (still interested) and kept doing what I liked doing, and it happened naturally. We're pretty happy together now and I hope to have a future with her. :love:

[Orpz]

Orpz is my favorite asian guy. If I could be his friend IRL I would be soooo happy.. He's so cool and manly and smart! #nohomobro

Oh, I also asked someone out once. Got rejected but played it cool. She was impressed with how I handled the rejection. The twist: I wasn't considering dating her seriously, I just wanted to see if I'd succeed in asking her out.

Germany is on my to-travel list ^.^ You'll be the first person to know when I decide to go there!! We can debauch it up every single night and neg rep people together

[NoctiZ]

Germany is on my to-travel list ^.^ You'll be the first person to know when I decide to go there!! We can debauch it up every single night and neg rep people together

Fk yeah, that shit sounds awesome! I'd be ready any time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)