Helz
June 30th, 2014, 12:44 PM
Step 1:
Figure out what you want to do. Like going to a vampire LARP in New York (http://kony.ne-gamer.com/index.html) This has been a life long dream of mine every other Tuesday when I am drunk as hell thinking about all the sex I do not really want but could have with unstable middle aged basket cases.
Step 2:
Find a time line you can justify. Just search "Job fairs" in the area. (http://www.jobexpo.com/Jobfairs/Job-Fair-NYC-on-August-22--2013-at-the-Holiday-Inn-Midtown.asp) Seminars are better and if you work for any kind of corporation they will fund some of your trip. Get some cards and applications just to make it look like this was the purpose of your trip. Contact a local Realtor and keep some random pages on housing opportunity's.
Step 3:
Book a hotel. If that hotel says it is fully booked try pretending you want a longer stay. Say you want to stay for 4-5 days instead of 1-2 (Those booking agency's get more money if they lock these on so they reject short stay party's when the hotel is filling up to keep longer windows open) After you book the 4-5 day stay call the hotel directly and say you changed your mind, That you will only be staying for the original planned 1-2 days. You get to keep the discounted rate and lock in a room that you could have otherwise missed.
Add the prefix "Dr" to your name. Hotel staff will put you in a better room because they expect a pretentious asshole and do not want to hear your complaints about being next to the elevator. By the time you check in and tell them you just call yourself Dr because you LARP as a vampire doctor it no longer matters. You have the good room.
Step 4:
Have fun. Wear a condom. Keep your receipts.
When you get on the plane say you have a peanut allergy and have to wipe down the tray table to board early for southwest. If its anything else get on last and sit in first class. I have done it almost every time and never been asked about my boarding pass. Those seats are nice and you do not have to sit next to the 350 pound lady that raised hell about having to buy 2 seats to fit her fat ass and is now spilling over 2/3rds of your seat.
If you miss your flight just Photoshop a printed iteniary to change the date or time. Raise some hell. They will cop your flight and if you are good enough give you all kinds of other perks.
Step 5:
Have the government pay for your vacation. Claim the air-fair, hotel, food, cab rides and everything else. Its not a vacation to pretend you suck blood in a creepy pedo bar. Its a job search or a seminar and you are considering moving there.
Figure out what you want to do. Like going to a vampire LARP in New York (http://kony.ne-gamer.com/index.html) This has been a life long dream of mine every other Tuesday when I am drunk as hell thinking about all the sex I do not really want but could have with unstable middle aged basket cases.
Step 2:
Find a time line you can justify. Just search "Job fairs" in the area. (http://www.jobexpo.com/Jobfairs/Job-Fair-NYC-on-August-22--2013-at-the-Holiday-Inn-Midtown.asp) Seminars are better and if you work for any kind of corporation they will fund some of your trip. Get some cards and applications just to make it look like this was the purpose of your trip. Contact a local Realtor and keep some random pages on housing opportunity's.
Step 3:
Book a hotel. If that hotel says it is fully booked try pretending you want a longer stay. Say you want to stay for 4-5 days instead of 1-2 (Those booking agency's get more money if they lock these on so they reject short stay party's when the hotel is filling up to keep longer windows open) After you book the 4-5 day stay call the hotel directly and say you changed your mind, That you will only be staying for the original planned 1-2 days. You get to keep the discounted rate and lock in a room that you could have otherwise missed.
Add the prefix "Dr" to your name. Hotel staff will put you in a better room because they expect a pretentious asshole and do not want to hear your complaints about being next to the elevator. By the time you check in and tell them you just call yourself Dr because you LARP as a vampire doctor it no longer matters. You have the good room.
Step 4:
Have fun. Wear a condom. Keep your receipts.
When you get on the plane say you have a peanut allergy and have to wipe down the tray table to board early for southwest. If its anything else get on last and sit in first class. I have done it almost every time and never been asked about my boarding pass. Those seats are nice and you do not have to sit next to the 350 pound lady that raised hell about having to buy 2 seats to fit her fat ass and is now spilling over 2/3rds of your seat.
If you miss your flight just Photoshop a printed iteniary to change the date or time. Raise some hell. They will cop your flight and if you are good enough give you all kinds of other perks.
Step 5:
Have the government pay for your vacation. Claim the air-fair, hotel, food, cab rides and everything else. Its not a vacation to pretend you suck blood in a creepy pedo bar. Its a job search or a seminar and you are considering moving there.