Doc
May 1st, 2011, 11:30 AM
After writing a small 30-page novel about parasite (which I can post here too if you wish) I thought I would give it a try with Mafia. It's of course in Theatre form. I apologize for spelling mistakes, this was written between 18.00 and 19.25 today :P. In case you're curious I have a collection of 50 short stories on sale in random book stores across the town where I live
Mafia (A short story)
Welcome to Parcville.
Population:
-God
-Jesus
-Satan
-Justin Bieber
-Buddha
-Ford Perfect
-John Lennon
-Ghandi
-A fat nerd
During the next few days, we'll play a game. Every one of the town's citizens will be assigned a role, which has a goal within the game. The group of persons or the person that wins in the end gets to live. The rest, as it's already obvious, will die.
The rules you already know.
Day 1, Town Hall
God: Hello, fellow citizens.
Satan: Oh God, not you again.
God: Hey Satan!
Buddha: What's going on here? Do you guys know each other already?
Satan: I wish we didn't! Last game, me and God were the only survivors. He was a vigilante that wasted all his shots on the 3 doctors
God: It wasn't on purpose by the way
Jesus: That doesn't matter anymore. Dad, why did you sign us up for this piece of crap?
God: Look son, to grow up means to face real challenges.
Jesus: But I could die here!
God: Problem?
Buddha: God is a troll!
An envelope magically appears in front of the townies
God: Finally, I'll get to know my role!
Everyone opens their envelope and read their role
Ghandi: You've got to be kidding me! I'm dead already!
God: <laughing> Lol, what's your role you fat chinese piece of shit?
Ghandi: I'm not telling! And why are you being so rude to me?
Justin Bieber: He might be a jester!
Jesus: Oh my God, it's Justin Bieber!
Satan: Can we lynch already?
John Lennon: No, you have to wait until the next day to actually lynch
God: Well that sucks. Anyway, we have to choose a mayor now. I guess everyone can have like a 5-second speech to introduce themselves and then we can vote. I'll start:
God: Hey everyone, my name is God and I guess you all know me as the creator of the universe and all that shit , blabla bla. So it's obvious you should vote for me since I created existence, I created this game and everything else.
Jesus: But you did also create Satan then, right? Anyway, I'm Jesus and I'm God's son. I only want to survive this and don't really care about my role or your roles.
Satan: Hello, I'm Satan, I'm a horny 16 year old female from Chicago. Vote for naked pics.
Justin Bieber: Since I will be supporting Satan after his convincing speech, there's no need for my speech, I guess.
Buddha: Hello everyone, my name is Buddha and I'm a retarded prince who renounced from his royal title and created a hoax-system of self-aid and other bullshit for long-lasting trolling.
Ford Perfect: Hi! I'm the guy that's in all of your games because he can't choose an original name.
John Lennon: Hi, I'm John Lennon and I'm going to be shot by the Serial Killer on the first night.
Ghandi: Hey there, go easy on yourself John, you never know what can happen. I'm Ghandi and I strive for peace and justice in the world. Vote for me if you want to have 0 deaths.
A fat nerd: Hi, I'm a guy that can hack computer systems and will illegally elect myself Mayor.
<The voting polls are open>
God: Great!
<The voting polls are closed>
<Due to a massive majority, A fat nerd was chosen as the Mayor of Parcville. He will have immunity for the first three nights>
God: Fuck you nerd!
<And so the first day ends>
Day 2, Town Hall
<During the night, there was an attempted murder and a successful murder>
<John Lennon was found dead near the stairs of his building with a shot in the head>
<John Lennon's role was Vigilante>
Justin Bieber: Who was John Lennon anyway?
Buddha: Are you kidding me, you ignorant piece of fuck?
Justin Bieber: Hey, chill bro, was just sayin'. He wasn't thaaat well-known.
Jesus: That's it. Lynch Bieber
Satan: Guys, guys! No random lynches please. I will now reveal my role and expect to be healed by the doctor for it. I'm the Sheriff. I investigated-...
Buddha: <Bursts into laughter> Since when is Satan a Sheriff?
Satan: Interrupt me again and I'll rape you myself, you hoax-guru-piece-of-shit!
God: Hey there, Satan, calm down!
Satan: As I was saying, I investigated Justin Bieber and it came out clean. Unfortunately, Justin Bieber is not a member of the mafia so we will not lynch him.
Jesus: Lynch anyway?
Ghandi: Yup
<The voting polls have opened>
<The Mayor has blocked lynching today>
God: What? Oh come on!
A fat nerd: I won't let you random lynch Bieber. I trust Satan
Ghandi: Trusting Satan is reason enough for killing you!
A fat nerd: Go ahead, I'm immune for the next two days.
Jesus: Fuck, he's right.
God: Who do we lynch then?
Satan: Nobody, we wait until tomorrow!
<And so the second day comes to an end>
Night 2, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: Damnit, we could have lynched Bieber today
Mafia2: Stupid Mayor hacked the system!
Mafia1: Anyway, who do we kill now?
Mafia2: What about Buddha?
Mafia1: Hmm, that would certainly be a random kill. We should go for those that speak the most
Mafia2: And that present the biggest threat to us.
Mafia1: Are we thinking about the same guy?
Mafia2: Hell yeah
Day 3, Town Hall
<There was an attempt to kill someone tonight, but the doctor healed the person>
God: Looking good for the town. Seems like there is only a mafia and a serial killer. Could be worse.
Satan: Only a mafia and serial killer? We're eight people in total. That means almost half of us wants to kill the town! We're not safe!
Jesus: Any evidence, Sheriff?
Satan: Yes. I have compelling evidence that Ghandi is evil!
Ghandi: What? You're making that up! You're probably not even a real Sheriff!
Buddha: What about Ford Perfect? He hasn't said anything until now. Could be something evil!
Ford Perfect: I'm all for the town. I'm gathering evidence too, you see? Writing them all on my last will incase I die, which has been attempted tonight!
Ghandi: You fucking liar, nobody tried to kill you!
Jesus: Ghandi, Ford, cool the fuck down! Satan said Ghandi was evil, I think we should go for it.
<The voting polls have opened>
Ghandi: Are you fucking kidding me? This must be a joke?
God: So much for your peace efforts. Why did you kill John Lennon?
Ghandi: I didn't! Satan is a liar! He's called the Deciever for a reason!
God: Look, Ghandi, at first I also didn't trust Satan. But since the last game, where Satan saved me and him against 3 mafia as Vigilante I owe him my life. I trust Satan.
Jesus: You're got to be kidding, dad!
God: Son, there's things in life-...
<Ghandi has recieved enough votes. You have 30 seconds for a defense speech>
Ghandi: Guys, this is ridiculous! Satan is lying to all of you! How can you even believe him, he rules Hell! He's the Antagonist of everything that's good! If I'm lynched today, then the Town loses absolutely! We'll be a minority!
Ford Perfect: I actually believe the guy...
Satan: Guilty
God: Guilty
Jesus: Guilty
Justin Bieber: Guilty
A fat nerd: Innocent
Buddha: Innocent
Ford Perfect: Innocent
< With a majority of 4 to 3 votes, Ghandi will be lynched. Do you have any last words?>
Ghandi: ...the fuck? I didn't kill John Lennon. Satan just had a lucky shot. See you all in hell!
<Ghandi dies>
<Ghandi's role was Serial Killer>
Satan: So much for that asshole!
<And so, the third day ends>
Night 3, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: Why didn't you kill him?
Mafia2: I was roleblocked, damnit, they've got an escort
Mafia1: Seriously? Now the escort knows that you're mafia!
Mafia2: Well, bad luck! We have to end this. With a bit of luck we'll get the doctor...
Mafia1: Who do you think is the doctor?
Mafia2: I'd go for Bieber.
Mafia1: Ok, let's kill Bieber
Mafia2: Lol, finally we agree with each other
Day 4, Town Hall
<Justin Bieber was found dead in his house. A DvD of 'Never say Never' slit his throat>
<Justin Bieber's role was Spy>
Jesus: Finally
Perfect: Guys, you gotta hear me out now. Doctor heal me. I'm Sheriff, Satan is mafia!
Satan: Haha, that's a good joke. You're probably mafia trying to lynch me.
Perfect: No, guys, seriously!
Satan: I say we lynch Perfect. He's pointing too much at me
Perfect: What?
Jesus: Dad, what do you think?
God: I think we should go with the Devil on this one, darling...
Buddha: Are you guys serious about this? Satan? Because Justin Bieber left in his will that there are two mafia still left. If Perfect is one of them and you are all against him, that means that the fat nerd is also mafia.
Jesus: Could be. I'm for Satan
<The voting polls have opened>
<Ford Perfect has recieved enough votes. You have 30 seconds for a defense speech>
Perfect: Since I'm going to die today probably, you will all see my role. I am a sheriff and have investigated Satan. It said that he was Mafia. When I die and you see my role, go for Satan. I think he's working together with Buddha. God is clean also. And so is the fat nerd.
God: You're right about me, but that could also mean your that Consigliere guy that gets intel for the mafia. Or the Godfather. Guilty anyway.
Jesus: Guilty
Satan: You're insulting me wrongfully. I'm not mafia! I'm the real Sheriff! Guilty!
A fat nerd: Innocent
Buddha: Guilty. A fat nerd, why did you vote innocent? You're very suspicious.
A fat nerd: You'll see.
<With a majority of 4 votes against 1, Ford Perfect will be lynched. Last words?>
Ford Perfect: Well played, Satan and Buddha. Jesus , God and fat nerd you can still beat them if you work together!
<Ford Perfect dies>
<Ford Perfect's role was Sheriff>
God: That was NOT good. Townies, we're fucked. 2V2 when the next of us dies.
Satan: Buddha and fat nerd are mafia. Lynch them.
Jesus: Are you sure about that, Satan?
Satan: Yes
Night 4, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: OK, I know who the doctor is now.
Mafia2: Really? Who?
Mafia1: The guy that lives right next door.
Mafia2: Let's pay him a visit, shall we? It's time...
Mafia1: Well played, Godfather, well played...
Day 5, Town Hall
<A fat nerd was found dead in front of the PC. His role was Doctor>
Buddha: Oh, bugger, we lost now!
God: I guess you could say that, hehe...
Buddha: God? What are you... Are you mafia, God?
Jesus: Dad?
God: When I first saw my role, I couldn't believe the irony of it! Who would have guessed that God is the Godfather? Hahaha!
Satan: You've tricked us all along! You're a piece of shit, God!
Buddha: But wait... If you're the Godfather, then who's the Consigliere? Oh my God! It was so obvious now that Ford is dead!
Satan: Well, now I guess it doesn't matter anymore. The town has lost. I was the Consigliere!
Jesus: Dad, how could you kill all those people?
God: Son, there are things in life which come with a price. Just like a bike, a good vacation to Fiji, etc. But there are things that are priceless. Like killing your son at night.
Jesus: Seriously? I thought we were sticking together!
Satan: Sorry, Jesus, that's just the way it goes.
<It's getting night>
God: Do you have any last words?
Jesus: Yes. Hey Buddha, why don't you roleblock God? I'm guessing you're Escort.
God: Stalling the game, are we? No problem, I am immune to role-blocks! But to do you a small favor, I will kill Buddha tonight. Then it's your turn...
Night 5, Mafia's hideout
God: Nice job
Satan: Thanks. Now let's kill Buddha!
God: Yeah, then Jesus!
Satan: I must say, we decieved the hell out of them. Are you avaliable next week for another game?
God: We always win, bro! Sure I am!
Satan: And the mafia wins again...
Day 6, Town Hall
<Buddha was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Escort>
<Satan was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Consigliere>
<God was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Godfather>
Jesus: Arsonist is OP.
<The End>
Mafia (A short story)
Welcome to Parcville.
Population:
-God
-Jesus
-Satan
-Justin Bieber
-Buddha
-Ford Perfect
-John Lennon
-Ghandi
-A fat nerd
During the next few days, we'll play a game. Every one of the town's citizens will be assigned a role, which has a goal within the game. The group of persons or the person that wins in the end gets to live. The rest, as it's already obvious, will die.
The rules you already know.
Day 1, Town Hall
God: Hello, fellow citizens.
Satan: Oh God, not you again.
God: Hey Satan!
Buddha: What's going on here? Do you guys know each other already?
Satan: I wish we didn't! Last game, me and God were the only survivors. He was a vigilante that wasted all his shots on the 3 doctors
God: It wasn't on purpose by the way
Jesus: That doesn't matter anymore. Dad, why did you sign us up for this piece of crap?
God: Look son, to grow up means to face real challenges.
Jesus: But I could die here!
God: Problem?
Buddha: God is a troll!
An envelope magically appears in front of the townies
God: Finally, I'll get to know my role!
Everyone opens their envelope and read their role
Ghandi: You've got to be kidding me! I'm dead already!
God: <laughing> Lol, what's your role you fat chinese piece of shit?
Ghandi: I'm not telling! And why are you being so rude to me?
Justin Bieber: He might be a jester!
Jesus: Oh my God, it's Justin Bieber!
Satan: Can we lynch already?
John Lennon: No, you have to wait until the next day to actually lynch
God: Well that sucks. Anyway, we have to choose a mayor now. I guess everyone can have like a 5-second speech to introduce themselves and then we can vote. I'll start:
God: Hey everyone, my name is God and I guess you all know me as the creator of the universe and all that shit , blabla bla. So it's obvious you should vote for me since I created existence, I created this game and everything else.
Jesus: But you did also create Satan then, right? Anyway, I'm Jesus and I'm God's son. I only want to survive this and don't really care about my role or your roles.
Satan: Hello, I'm Satan, I'm a horny 16 year old female from Chicago. Vote for naked pics.
Justin Bieber: Since I will be supporting Satan after his convincing speech, there's no need for my speech, I guess.
Buddha: Hello everyone, my name is Buddha and I'm a retarded prince who renounced from his royal title and created a hoax-system of self-aid and other bullshit for long-lasting trolling.
Ford Perfect: Hi! I'm the guy that's in all of your games because he can't choose an original name.
John Lennon: Hi, I'm John Lennon and I'm going to be shot by the Serial Killer on the first night.
Ghandi: Hey there, go easy on yourself John, you never know what can happen. I'm Ghandi and I strive for peace and justice in the world. Vote for me if you want to have 0 deaths.
A fat nerd: Hi, I'm a guy that can hack computer systems and will illegally elect myself Mayor.
<The voting polls are open>
God: Great!
<The voting polls are closed>
<Due to a massive majority, A fat nerd was chosen as the Mayor of Parcville. He will have immunity for the first three nights>
God: Fuck you nerd!
<And so the first day ends>
Day 2, Town Hall
<During the night, there was an attempted murder and a successful murder>
<John Lennon was found dead near the stairs of his building with a shot in the head>
<John Lennon's role was Vigilante>
Justin Bieber: Who was John Lennon anyway?
Buddha: Are you kidding me, you ignorant piece of fuck?
Justin Bieber: Hey, chill bro, was just sayin'. He wasn't thaaat well-known.
Jesus: That's it. Lynch Bieber
Satan: Guys, guys! No random lynches please. I will now reveal my role and expect to be healed by the doctor for it. I'm the Sheriff. I investigated-...
Buddha: <Bursts into laughter> Since when is Satan a Sheriff?
Satan: Interrupt me again and I'll rape you myself, you hoax-guru-piece-of-shit!
God: Hey there, Satan, calm down!
Satan: As I was saying, I investigated Justin Bieber and it came out clean. Unfortunately, Justin Bieber is not a member of the mafia so we will not lynch him.
Jesus: Lynch anyway?
Ghandi: Yup
<The voting polls have opened>
<The Mayor has blocked lynching today>
God: What? Oh come on!
A fat nerd: I won't let you random lynch Bieber. I trust Satan
Ghandi: Trusting Satan is reason enough for killing you!
A fat nerd: Go ahead, I'm immune for the next two days.
Jesus: Fuck, he's right.
God: Who do we lynch then?
Satan: Nobody, we wait until tomorrow!
<And so the second day comes to an end>
Night 2, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: Damnit, we could have lynched Bieber today
Mafia2: Stupid Mayor hacked the system!
Mafia1: Anyway, who do we kill now?
Mafia2: What about Buddha?
Mafia1: Hmm, that would certainly be a random kill. We should go for those that speak the most
Mafia2: And that present the biggest threat to us.
Mafia1: Are we thinking about the same guy?
Mafia2: Hell yeah
Day 3, Town Hall
<There was an attempt to kill someone tonight, but the doctor healed the person>
God: Looking good for the town. Seems like there is only a mafia and a serial killer. Could be worse.
Satan: Only a mafia and serial killer? We're eight people in total. That means almost half of us wants to kill the town! We're not safe!
Jesus: Any evidence, Sheriff?
Satan: Yes. I have compelling evidence that Ghandi is evil!
Ghandi: What? You're making that up! You're probably not even a real Sheriff!
Buddha: What about Ford Perfect? He hasn't said anything until now. Could be something evil!
Ford Perfect: I'm all for the town. I'm gathering evidence too, you see? Writing them all on my last will incase I die, which has been attempted tonight!
Ghandi: You fucking liar, nobody tried to kill you!
Jesus: Ghandi, Ford, cool the fuck down! Satan said Ghandi was evil, I think we should go for it.
<The voting polls have opened>
Ghandi: Are you fucking kidding me? This must be a joke?
God: So much for your peace efforts. Why did you kill John Lennon?
Ghandi: I didn't! Satan is a liar! He's called the Deciever for a reason!
God: Look, Ghandi, at first I also didn't trust Satan. But since the last game, where Satan saved me and him against 3 mafia as Vigilante I owe him my life. I trust Satan.
Jesus: You're got to be kidding, dad!
God: Son, there's things in life-...
<Ghandi has recieved enough votes. You have 30 seconds for a defense speech>
Ghandi: Guys, this is ridiculous! Satan is lying to all of you! How can you even believe him, he rules Hell! He's the Antagonist of everything that's good! If I'm lynched today, then the Town loses absolutely! We'll be a minority!
Ford Perfect: I actually believe the guy...
Satan: Guilty
God: Guilty
Jesus: Guilty
Justin Bieber: Guilty
A fat nerd: Innocent
Buddha: Innocent
Ford Perfect: Innocent
< With a majority of 4 to 3 votes, Ghandi will be lynched. Do you have any last words?>
Ghandi: ...the fuck? I didn't kill John Lennon. Satan just had a lucky shot. See you all in hell!
<Ghandi dies>
<Ghandi's role was Serial Killer>
Satan: So much for that asshole!
<And so, the third day ends>
Night 3, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: Why didn't you kill him?
Mafia2: I was roleblocked, damnit, they've got an escort
Mafia1: Seriously? Now the escort knows that you're mafia!
Mafia2: Well, bad luck! We have to end this. With a bit of luck we'll get the doctor...
Mafia1: Who do you think is the doctor?
Mafia2: I'd go for Bieber.
Mafia1: Ok, let's kill Bieber
Mafia2: Lol, finally we agree with each other
Day 4, Town Hall
<Justin Bieber was found dead in his house. A DvD of 'Never say Never' slit his throat>
<Justin Bieber's role was Spy>
Jesus: Finally
Perfect: Guys, you gotta hear me out now. Doctor heal me. I'm Sheriff, Satan is mafia!
Satan: Haha, that's a good joke. You're probably mafia trying to lynch me.
Perfect: No, guys, seriously!
Satan: I say we lynch Perfect. He's pointing too much at me
Perfect: What?
Jesus: Dad, what do you think?
God: I think we should go with the Devil on this one, darling...
Buddha: Are you guys serious about this? Satan? Because Justin Bieber left in his will that there are two mafia still left. If Perfect is one of them and you are all against him, that means that the fat nerd is also mafia.
Jesus: Could be. I'm for Satan
<The voting polls have opened>
<Ford Perfect has recieved enough votes. You have 30 seconds for a defense speech>
Perfect: Since I'm going to die today probably, you will all see my role. I am a sheriff and have investigated Satan. It said that he was Mafia. When I die and you see my role, go for Satan. I think he's working together with Buddha. God is clean also. And so is the fat nerd.
God: You're right about me, but that could also mean your that Consigliere guy that gets intel for the mafia. Or the Godfather. Guilty anyway.
Jesus: Guilty
Satan: You're insulting me wrongfully. I'm not mafia! I'm the real Sheriff! Guilty!
A fat nerd: Innocent
Buddha: Guilty. A fat nerd, why did you vote innocent? You're very suspicious.
A fat nerd: You'll see.
<With a majority of 4 votes against 1, Ford Perfect will be lynched. Last words?>
Ford Perfect: Well played, Satan and Buddha. Jesus , God and fat nerd you can still beat them if you work together!
<Ford Perfect dies>
<Ford Perfect's role was Sheriff>
God: That was NOT good. Townies, we're fucked. 2V2 when the next of us dies.
Satan: Buddha and fat nerd are mafia. Lynch them.
Jesus: Are you sure about that, Satan?
Satan: Yes
Night 4, Mafia's hideout
Mafia1: OK, I know who the doctor is now.
Mafia2: Really? Who?
Mafia1: The guy that lives right next door.
Mafia2: Let's pay him a visit, shall we? It's time...
Mafia1: Well played, Godfather, well played...
Day 5, Town Hall
<A fat nerd was found dead in front of the PC. His role was Doctor>
Buddha: Oh, bugger, we lost now!
God: I guess you could say that, hehe...
Buddha: God? What are you... Are you mafia, God?
Jesus: Dad?
God: When I first saw my role, I couldn't believe the irony of it! Who would have guessed that God is the Godfather? Hahaha!
Satan: You've tricked us all along! You're a piece of shit, God!
Buddha: But wait... If you're the Godfather, then who's the Consigliere? Oh my God! It was so obvious now that Ford is dead!
Satan: Well, now I guess it doesn't matter anymore. The town has lost. I was the Consigliere!
Jesus: Dad, how could you kill all those people?
God: Son, there are things in life which come with a price. Just like a bike, a good vacation to Fiji, etc. But there are things that are priceless. Like killing your son at night.
Jesus: Seriously? I thought we were sticking together!
Satan: Sorry, Jesus, that's just the way it goes.
<It's getting night>
God: Do you have any last words?
Jesus: Yes. Hey Buddha, why don't you roleblock God? I'm guessing you're Escort.
God: Stalling the game, are we? No problem, I am immune to role-blocks! But to do you a small favor, I will kill Buddha tonight. Then it's your turn...
Night 5, Mafia's hideout
God: Nice job
Satan: Thanks. Now let's kill Buddha!
God: Yeah, then Jesus!
Satan: I must say, we decieved the hell out of them. Are you avaliable next week for another game?
God: We always win, bro! Sure I am!
Satan: And the mafia wins again...
Day 6, Town Hall
<Buddha was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Escort>
<Satan was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Consigliere>
<God was found dead. He was incinerated. His role was Godfather>
Jesus: Arsonist is OP.
<The End>